That's right, the holidays are coming. The grocery store has special displays of canned pumpkin and turkeys. Cities are hanging giant ornaments over the streets. I'm trying to decide if I can get away with putting my Christmas decorations up this weekend. And while there is much to look forward to, I thought I would take a moment to help us all out with some things we should NOT say this holiday season.
Questions 1: So are you dating anyone?
Many unattached individuals are dreading their annual trek to the family dinner at Thanksgiving or Christmas because of the number of times they will be hit with this question. I remember a hatred of holiday gatherings building up in my heart as a single thirty-something because of this question. If someone is dating, and they want you to know about it, they will tell you. It will be a part of their answer to the first question you asked, "What's new with you?" or they will drop a "we" into a story they are telling. Until that happens, just assume they have nothing to announce and talk about the cranberry sauce.
Question 2: Why aren't you married yet?
This is a question that gets thrown out by someone who has been married so long they've forgotten what it was like to be single. Short of the answer being, "I've chosen to never marry anyone," there is no answer for this question. If a single person who wants to be married could answer this question, he/she would no longer be single. Maybe you are asking this question because you think the person is awesome and deserves to be married. That's great, but just say, "you're awesome" and then go home and pray for God to send a spouse.
Question 3: Are you guys serious?/Are you going to put a ring on it?/Do I hear wedding bells?
Or any other not so subtle way of asking a person in a dating relationship if they are going to end up married. If you are not the parent of one of the individuals having a heart to heart, private conversation to check on your adult child or pass on great-grandma's ring, then this question in any form is none of your business. That's right. I said it, and I'll say it again before this post is over. Stop asking things that are not your business. When you are supposed to know, you'll know. Goodness knows we have a million ways of announcing such news these days between social media, smart phones, or the girlie squeal across a room after spotting a sparkly diamond on someone's hand. When a couple is ready to announce their engagement, they will do so. Until then, the rest of us just have to wait for a save the date!
Question 4: When will we hear the pitter patter of little feet?
Ahh, yes the dreaded baby questions. Just when you thought you were safe from awkward questions because you finally got married, you find out there are still ways for you to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen when all you wanted was to get a piece of pie. Seriously, we should NEVER be asking people about this. We don't know what is happening in their world. Maybe they are not ready to have kids yet. Maybe they want kids, but are having trouble getting pregnant. Maybe they want kids, but have some issues to work through first. Maybe, they just don't want to have kids. Whatever the case may be, it is not appropriate to ask. Ask about the pie instead.
Question 5: Are you guys going to have more kids?
I gave birth just a few months ago and almost immediately had people asking me if my husband and I were going to have more kids. My answer, "We just got this one!" How many children a couple wants to have or is able to have is extremely personal. See question 4 for some of the reasons why. In the meantime, try asking questions about the kid(s) that are already here. Parents have no problem talking about their existing children.
There are more questions I'd like to help us stop asking, but I'll save them for a future post. My husband nailed it on the head when he told me once that people ask these kind of questions because they are uncomfortable with silence and think they need to say something, but God reminds us that we don't need to rush to speak.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
So let's embrace some silence. If we do more listening and are slower to speak, we'll all help someone be a lot less angry this holiday season and throughout the year!
(If you have a question to add to my list post it in the comments below. As I said, there will be a part two to this post.)
Friday, November 15, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
I Gave Birth to an Alien
In the first few days of being a new mom, I was so enraptured with my child that I barely slept wanting to stare at her all the time. Well, that and the fact that she literally ate every two hours, and I'm her...for the sake of propriety, let's just call me her vending machine. After several nights in the hospital I had never once slept more than an hour at a time between waking up to feed her and being awakened by the well-intentioned, albeit it slumber-inhibiting medical staff who were doing a great job of making sure both she and I were in good health. Needless to say, on our first night home I was looking forward to some uninterrupted sleep of at least an hour and forty-five minutes or so. My sweet husband took our newborn just after one of her late night feedings and instructed me to sleep until the next time she needed to eat, and I did. I slept like the dead (people with babies stop saying "sleep like a baby" because we know they don't really sleep). I slept so hard that when he came to wake me, I had no idea when or where I was. I didn't remember what had happened or what was supposed to happen. I was laying in the bed, incredibly groggy, staring at my husband wondering what he was holding in his arms. Oddly enough, the first thought in my extremely exhausted brain was alien. You may be asking, "how funny looking is that kid?" In fact, she is quite beautiful and has at no point looked like an alien. I was just that out of it. However, this week I was reminded that my child is indeed an alien. Not in looks, because seriously she really is a pretty baby, but she is an alien citizen to me and her father. Well, technically we are alien citizens to her.
This past Wednesday night at my church we looked at the verse 2 Corinthians 5:20,
We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
As it always happens when I revisit a familiar verse, God used my present day circumstances to uncover another layer hidden in His word. I have been aware for years that I'm no longer a citizen of this world as Jesus explained it in John 15:19,
If you belonged to the world, it would love you like one of its own. But you do not belong to the world. I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
My new revelation was not my role as ambassador to those in the world who are still lost, lacking the peace and blessing that comes from being in relationship with God through Jesus Christ. What is new is that I have been stationed in a new post, as ambassador to my daughter. She is a citizen of this world, subject to sin and not yet in a relationship with God. Sure, right now, she is a precious little baby and the picture of innocence, but she is also completely self-involved wanting her needs and demands to be met the moment she experiences them. The cry for food is just a precursor to the selfishness that will manifest in all kinds of ways as she grows. The toys she won't want to share with anyone, the really bad two-year old lies she'll tell when trying to cover up her disobedience, the tantrum she'll throw when she does not get her way. Her first language will be the language of a sinner, "mine"-ese.
I have been given the greatest assignment of my life as an ambassador and that is to represent the kingdom of Heaven to my child. My husband and I are to be her bridge to Christ, and while we are counting on family, friends, and the church to help us lay out the path, the ultimate responsibility for sharing Christ with her is on us. As parents, we must embrace our roles as ambassadors to our children. We must be committed 24/7 to living in this foreign world with them, but representing the kingdom we truly belong to in our words and actions. I have worked with enough teenagers in student ministry to know that kids see very clearly what their parents do, especially that which is in opposition to what they say. All of us parents must be careful that we truly live in a way that reflects Christ each and every day, so our children see that we don't just say we have faith, but we practice our faith in every aspect of our lives. Those of you who are not yet parents are still ambassadors. Your post may be your job, your dorm, or your neighborhood, but you still have the vital responsibility of representing Christ to those around you who don't yet know Him in all that you do. Not only are you a working ambassador right now, but you are also training for tougher assignments in the future. Be the best alien you can be! Show grace to those around you; respond differently to tough situations; love others, even those who are harder to love. As we do these things, those who are alien to us will observe and learn and be drawn to Christ just as we once were.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Hindsight Leading the Blind
Okay, confession time. I find hindsight irritating. It's like an annoying, know-it-all friend that says I told you so after you finally figure out what you should have done. I mean, really, how much does it help me to see the big picture AFTER I've trudged through mayhem and misery? What good does it do me to know what it all means AFTER the hectic and hurtful is over? Hindsight is 20/20 alright, but sometimes it seems to do me about as much good as a hole in the head...or does it?
When I think about the fact that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and the source of all wisdom, I realize that He could choose to give me all the benefits of hindsight in the beginning of a trying time. He could have done that for all of us. He could have let Joseph see that he would one day be Pharaoh's right-hand man saving a nation, while Joseph was on his way to Egypt as a new slave. He could have let Moses see he would rescue the Israelites from Egypt on that first night on the run after committing murder. He could have let Daniel see himself emerge unharmed from the lion's den back when he first was taken into exile. He could have let Esther see she would save the Jewish people when she first got taken to the palace for the ultimate episode of the Bachelor (yeah, that show is so not new). He could have let me see myself married to an amazing man of God BEFORE the seven year span of going on NO dates began. That would definitely have saved me some tears, angry journaling, and pity sessions and it would have saved those biblical figures some times of worry, uncertainty and despair. It would also have robbed us all of some faith.
You see, as much as I'm annoyed by hindsight, I recognize that it is the epilogue of each faith journey in our lives. It wraps up the experience we've just gone through and acts as a bridge into our next venture that will require even greater faith. Not being able to see what is coming forces us to rely on God, puts us on our knees in prayer, and removes any notion that we are winning due to our own power or prowess.
When I think about the fact that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and the source of all wisdom, I realize that He could choose to give me all the benefits of hindsight in the beginning of a trying time. He could have done that for all of us. He could have let Joseph see that he would one day be Pharaoh's right-hand man saving a nation, while Joseph was on his way to Egypt as a new slave. He could have let Moses see he would rescue the Israelites from Egypt on that first night on the run after committing murder. He could have let Daniel see himself emerge unharmed from the lion's den back when he first was taken into exile. He could have let Esther see she would save the Jewish people when she first got taken to the palace for the ultimate episode of the Bachelor (yeah, that show is so not new). He could have let me see myself married to an amazing man of God BEFORE the seven year span of going on NO dates began. That would definitely have saved me some tears, angry journaling, and pity sessions and it would have saved those biblical figures some times of worry, uncertainty and despair. It would also have robbed us all of some faith.
You see, as much as I'm annoyed by hindsight, I recognize that it is the epilogue of each faith journey in our lives. It wraps up the experience we've just gone through and acts as a bridge into our next venture that will require even greater faith. Not being able to see what is coming forces us to rely on God, puts us on our knees in prayer, and removes any notion that we are winning due to our own power or prowess.
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation. By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen. Hebrews 11:1-3
These verses in Hebrews say it clearly. When we can't see what we hope for, we have to trust God for it, and we grow more confident in Him. We represent God well to others, and we recognize that all things come from Him and through Him. Foresight might seem better to us in the here and now, but going forward in blind faith is better for us in the long run. I have learned in life that each challenge you get through with God is preparation for a tougher challenge to come. The more opportunities I have had to follow God blindly in faith, the stronger that faith has grown, and I needed it to be stronger for the next trial. Hearing that the next trial may be harder can make you fearful of what is coming if you've just been through something really hard, but I would challenge you to flip the script on your perspective and be reassured. The way I see it, difficult stuff is coming no matter what, so I'm glad to know that God is constantly making me stronger and more ready to face it. Hindsight is not that know-it-all friend taunting us with a snotty "I told you so." Hindsight is our loving Father holding us closely and saying, "I told you it would be so." Knowing this, we can all slip on our darkest shades and step blindly and confidently into the unknown, with our loving God holding our hand!
Friday, October 4, 2013
New Season. Still Me.
So if you read my blog, you know that I'm a new mom. No, I'm not going to turn this into a mommy blog. There are plenty of those out there, and I'm still in the learn as you go/"choose your own adventure" stage of mommy hood. However, from time to time the life lessons God is teaching me through being a mom will spill over into my blog, just as the life lessons He teaches me through marriage, friendship, and work have been and will continue to be shared. As a new mom, I'm definitely in a new season of life, doing new things, making new mistakes, experiencing new fears, smelling new smells. My priorities have shifted, my focus has changed, and my daily schedule has been radically altered. Some of the new things are comical, some sweet, some exhausting, some scary, and some just down right surprising. Some of the surprises started during pregnancy and caused me to not recognize myself at times. For example,while I was pregnant I didn't like sweets or chocolate very much, but once again I can devour a whole bag of double chocolate Milano cookies in a day (I'm not recommending this, I'm just saying I can). I've spent my entire life being cold, but during pregnancy I had the A/C cranked to such a low temp, my husband was wearing sweats to bed in June! It was pretty funny a few weeks ago when I looked at him and said, "Why is it so cold in our bedroom?" Well, it was funny to me. It was easy to think that in the midst of this new season of life, I'd become a completely new person especially since so many of my usual likes and habits changed with pregnancy, but as I return to my "normal", the truth is I'm the same me, with a new layer.
The Bible tells us when we accept Christ, we become a new creation. We are made new by the blood of Christ, washed clean of our sins, viewed as righteous by God. This invaluable change that comes with salvation is truly a gift. I was so excited by the idea of being a new creation when I was a new Christian because there was so much of the old me that I didn't want to be. However, I quickly realized that while it is true that God views me as righteous, I still had the ability to fall back on old habits and old choices. Paul talks about this in Galatians:
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.
Galatians 5:16-17
A personal relationship with Christ gives us the Holy Spirit who empowers us to make good, right choices. The key word here is choice. We choose how we live as believers. We choose from moment to moment what to do, how to respond, what to look at, where to go, and who to befriend. God has given us the ability to do right, but that doesn't mean we can just coast through life and not make any effort. Don't fool yourself into believing that you don't have to resist your old habits and temptations. The enemy is going to use those against you first! However, you have been made new in that you have the ability to resist those temptations through the power of the Holy Spirit, and as a new creation you will develop new skills, new wisdom, and new strength as you walk through life as a Christ-follower.
As we grow in Christ over the years, we will not just develop our new selves, we also enter new seasons from time to time. Maybe for you that season is moving into adulthood as you leave your parents home and go out on your own to college or the workforce. Maybe your new season is moving from the single life into marriage. You may be a new mom, like me, or you may have sent your baby to kindergarten this year. You may be healing from divorce as you start over on your own, or perhaps you're an empty nester for the first time. Whatever the new season of your life, it is important to remember that you are still the person God has shaped you to be. All of the strength, wisdom and knowledge of God you acquired before goes with you in the new season. Yes, you will face some of the old temptations, but you also have the legacy of victories that God has walked you through in your past to strengthen you as you resist. Be careful not to over or under estimate the new season you are entering. If you are intimidated by your new season, know that God is just as present and capable as He has always been in your life. If you are excited about your new season, be sure to not let your guard down; put on your armor and be ready for attacks that will come in this new time. New seasons will bring new challenges, new joys, new obstacles, and new victories. What you bring with you into that new season is what matters. Pray, spend time with God, read the Bible, and surround yourself with other believers so that you can be ready for the ups and downs of your new season. A new season is just an opportunity to add to your story and God's glory.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
What a Difference a Day Made
"What a difference a day makes,
Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain.
My yesterday was blue, dear.
Today I'm a part of you, dear.
My lonely nights are through, dear,
Since you said you were mine."
These are the opening lyrics to a song I grew up hearing Dinah Washington croon in my home. She was one of several jazz vocalists my mom loved and this song was a favorite of my mother's and later of mine. Of course, as a young girl and teen it was all about the romance of the song, this woman singing about her world going from sadness to joy overnight because the love of her life showed up. The song closes with the line, "What a difference a day made, and the difference was you." This fit in perfectly with my handsome prince, knight in shining armor, holding out for a hero view of romantic love that filled my teenage mind. As I grew older, I still loved the song, but I knew from experience that not every romantic relationship would end in sun and flowers. I'd had my heart broken and been disappointed a few times as much by my own bad choices as by the men I dated. My perspective of the song had changed to recognize that real love from the right man was going to feel life altering and be huge not because it would look like a scene in a movie, but because it would be lasting, it would be a love I could count on, a love that included commitment.
When I married my husband the song took on greater meaning still. In him, I found not just a knight in shining armor, but a true partner for life. I had experienced the loneliness of single life having not married until I was thirty-five and had a greater appreciation for the fact that I now had someone standing by my side through everything I might face in life. The magnitude of that steadfast companionship was monumental. Here was someone with whom I could make big life decisions, someone with whom I could share my dreams, someone to hold me in times of sorrow, and someone to laugh with me in times of great joy. My lonely nights truly were through. Now, we didn't get to this place of partnership overnight, but because we honored God in our relationship we truly did have the overnight impact that came with our wedding day. We went from separate households, bank accounts, and beds (yes, I said beds) to one literally overnight. What a difference a day made.
This summer, I became a mother and yet again, that old jazz song has taken on new meaning. To wake up one morning anticipating your child and go to bed that night holding her in your arms is a surreal experience that I can't quite articulate. I can only say, this song came into my mind that night as I held my daughter in my arms. Once again, my whole world had changed in just a day. Our priorities shifted completely as my husband and I feel the joyous weight of responsibility for this precious little life. Things that mattered the day before, no longer seem important and things we'd never thought about are suddenly at the top of our list. The emptiness that had staked out a corner of my heart belonging to motherhood was suddenly full and like the song goes on to say, I was experiencing a "moment of bliss". What a difference a day made.
As I kept singing the song in my mind, I realized that these two days that had made such a difference in my life were only possible because of the most important day that ever occurred in my life. That providential day in June of 1999 when I stepped into a church for the first time in a long time and gave my life to Christ. On that day, when I recognized that I was a sinner and was completely failing by trying to do things my way, when I surrendered it all to God, when I received the incredible grace that only Jesus offers I cleared a path for God to bless me in incredible ways. I was my own roadblock to true joy before because I had not taken what had been offered to me my whole life, but once I got out of my own way and yielded to God, I gave Him the control that only He truly has anyway. He began, that day, to steer me on the path that I walk today. Had I not experienced that day, I could never have experienced these other two magnificent days, and I would still be on the "blue"side of things. What a difference a day made, Lord and truly the difference was You!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
For the Brokenhearted Mothers and Mothers-to-Be
With Mother's Day just a few days away, I can not help but remember what I was feeling this time last year. You can read my exact feelings in this post, but to sum it up I can say that I was dreading the day. I was grieving my two miscarriages that had occurred in the 6 months before and facing a very discouraging infertility diagnosis. My empty arms and empty womb were a painful and tangible reminder of a dream I'd had since childhood that seemed to be slipping away, the dream of being a mother. This year I'm on the other side of a miracle, just 8 weeks away from my due date, counting down the minutes until, Lord willing, I get to hold my baby girl in my arms for the first time. I'm full of the joy of anticipation and the immeasurable gratitude to my God for this life that is even now squirming inside of me. And yet, I can not help but remember my sisters out there who are still waiting, still grieving, still longing for a child of their own. I do not take a thing for granted even as I believe in faith that this child I will bear is the answer to my prayers. I know that so many of you have prayed and are still praying for your own miracle child and are trying to find hope, even in moments when you despair. In the past year, I've known women who have lost their children to miscarriage, stillbirth, chromosomal disorders, and tragic accidents. I have been witness to their grief and misery. I have shed tears with them and for them. I have prayed for their hearts to be mended and their grief to subside. Even now, I hope with them as they continue to long for children of their own, and I know that if I, with all of my human shortcomings, will remember them on this Mother's Day, God remembers them all the more.
He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever. Psalm 136:23
Throughout the Bible we see that God remembers His people. He hears their cries of pain and sorrow. He rescues them from misery. He restores them to a place of joy. This Mother's Day, I want to remind all of you with empty wombs and empty arms, that the same God who remembered the children of Israel, remembers you. The Savior knows how you hurt, and He hurts with you. He knows the desires of your heart, and He has a plan for you. It was last August that I began to realize I needed to wait on the Lord for a child, stop trying to find my own solution, and allow Him to do the work that only He can do, the work of creation. It was in early September that I completely surrendered to His timing and plan for when I would get to be a mother. I did so with the full knowledge and expectation that I might have months or even years ahead of me with no children. I did so knowing that His answer to my prayers might not include me carrying a child in my womb. I did so knowing that I might have many Mays to face with no cards on Mother's Day. I did so because I trust Him. At the end of the day, I trust that God knows better for me than I know for myself. He sees my future when I can only glimpse today. He loves me more than I can ever imagine loving anyone.
I hope you know the same is true for you. God knows what is the absolute best plan for your life and that is the plan He has you working towards. It will not feel good at all times and it will come with hardships, but it is still His best for you. God does not just see where you are right now, but what your future holds. His perspective is greater than yours so His knowledge of what is best is superior to yours. God loves you in a way that you can't even comprehend. All the love you feel for the children you lost is just a fraction of what God feels for you as His child. He is not some distant figure, but a loving father who grieves with you. Know that He is always working to mend your broken heart. I pray that you will trust Him this Mother's Day. Trust Him with your dreams and desires. Trust Him by turning to Him in your moments of despair. As you carry your burden week by week, allow God to carry it with you by reading His word, praying to Him, going to church, and praising Him in the midst of your sorrow. These may not be the easiest steps to take, but I know personally that they are the best and only steps that will return you to a place of joy. I will be thinking of you all on this Mother's Day, and I can say with a certainty that God will most definitely be thinking of you too!
He remembered us in our weakness. His faithful love endures forever. Psalm 136:23
Throughout the Bible we see that God remembers His people. He hears their cries of pain and sorrow. He rescues them from misery. He restores them to a place of joy. This Mother's Day, I want to remind all of you with empty wombs and empty arms, that the same God who remembered the children of Israel, remembers you. The Savior knows how you hurt, and He hurts with you. He knows the desires of your heart, and He has a plan for you. It was last August that I began to realize I needed to wait on the Lord for a child, stop trying to find my own solution, and allow Him to do the work that only He can do, the work of creation. It was in early September that I completely surrendered to His timing and plan for when I would get to be a mother. I did so with the full knowledge and expectation that I might have months or even years ahead of me with no children. I did so knowing that His answer to my prayers might not include me carrying a child in my womb. I did so knowing that I might have many Mays to face with no cards on Mother's Day. I did so because I trust Him. At the end of the day, I trust that God knows better for me than I know for myself. He sees my future when I can only glimpse today. He loves me more than I can ever imagine loving anyone.
I hope you know the same is true for you. God knows what is the absolute best plan for your life and that is the plan He has you working towards. It will not feel good at all times and it will come with hardships, but it is still His best for you. God does not just see where you are right now, but what your future holds. His perspective is greater than yours so His knowledge of what is best is superior to yours. God loves you in a way that you can't even comprehend. All the love you feel for the children you lost is just a fraction of what God feels for you as His child. He is not some distant figure, but a loving father who grieves with you. Know that He is always working to mend your broken heart. I pray that you will trust Him this Mother's Day. Trust Him with your dreams and desires. Trust Him by turning to Him in your moments of despair. As you carry your burden week by week, allow God to carry it with you by reading His word, praying to Him, going to church, and praising Him in the midst of your sorrow. These may not be the easiest steps to take, but I know personally that they are the best and only steps that will return you to a place of joy. I will be thinking of you all on this Mother's Day, and I can say with a certainty that God will most definitely be thinking of you too!
Friday, March 29, 2013
A Really Good Friday
What a difference a year makes. Last year on Good Friday morning I was having a D&C after my second miscarriage. I was heartbroken and grieving, but at the same time I was thankful for the foundation in my life, the Savior that died for me on this day over 2000 years ago. When I woke up from the procedure, the first question I asked my doctor was if I could go to church and sing with the choir that night. I woke up knowing that I had so much to be thankful for in spite of the pain and grief I was feeling. I woke up determined to live out the words that I read so often in Job 1:21,
"I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!"
It didn't matter what my current pain was because in my heart I knew it was temporary, just as this life on earth is. The greater joy in my life is my eternity. The forever that I get to spend with Christ when I leave this world is enough reason to praise God no matter my circumstances. That joy, that hope that I possess is something I want to share with others who don't yet know it. As I enter into this Easter weekend, I'll continue to invite as many people as I can to the Good Friday and Easter Sunday worship experiences at my church, because I know there are people who will hear the Gospel this weekend and become a part of the family of God through Christ.
This Good Friday, I woke up not just to the incredible joy of my salvation, but the extra bonus gift I've received. My child kicking in my womb. I'm 100 days from my due date and beyond thankful that God has chosen to bless me in this way. This current happiness is the overflow I believe David was referring to when he said, "My cup overflows with blessings."
Whatever your circumstances may be this Friday, I encourage you to praise the name of the Lord. Remember that your joy is based on your Savior and not on your situation. If this year finds you at a low point, know that it is temporary. If this year finds you at a high point, rejoice in the abundant blessings. Don't let your faith and your joy be swayed by your right now. Base your faith and your joy on your forever, Jesus Christ. Share that faith and joy with others this weekend and every day of your life on this earth so they too can know the joy of a loving Savior!
"I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!"
It didn't matter what my current pain was because in my heart I knew it was temporary, just as this life on earth is. The greater joy in my life is my eternity. The forever that I get to spend with Christ when I leave this world is enough reason to praise God no matter my circumstances. That joy, that hope that I possess is something I want to share with others who don't yet know it. As I enter into this Easter weekend, I'll continue to invite as many people as I can to the Good Friday and Easter Sunday worship experiences at my church, because I know there are people who will hear the Gospel this weekend and become a part of the family of God through Christ.
This Good Friday, I woke up not just to the incredible joy of my salvation, but the extra bonus gift I've received. My child kicking in my womb. I'm 100 days from my due date and beyond thankful that God has chosen to bless me in this way. This current happiness is the overflow I believe David was referring to when he said, "My cup overflows with blessings."
Whatever your circumstances may be this Friday, I encourage you to praise the name of the Lord. Remember that your joy is based on your Savior and not on your situation. If this year finds you at a low point, know that it is temporary. If this year finds you at a high point, rejoice in the abundant blessings. Don't let your faith and your joy be swayed by your right now. Base your faith and your joy on your forever, Jesus Christ. Share that faith and joy with others this weekend and every day of your life on this earth so they too can know the joy of a loving Savior!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
If You've Ever Had to Struggle
Recently my church hosted a guest pastor, Greg Rohlinger, who shared not just a message, but his life. It is by far one of the most incredible messages I have ever heard and one I plan to revisit regularly to remind me of the profound truth shared, that is so easily forgotten when we go through difficult times. I implore you to take the time to watch this message. I promise you will benefit from his words and gain perspective from his story.
Greg Rohlinger's Incredible Message
Greg Rohlinger's Incredible Message
Monday, March 4, 2013
Just Janky
So, I like to use the word "janky"! I've used it for years and, occasionally, I forget myself and use it when I'm speaking. When this happens, I realize it is a slang term that may not be widely known so I have to pause and explain it to my audience, not because I'm worried they won't get what I'm saying, but because I don't want them to go out there and use it incorrectly. That is the worst. So I decided it was worth a blog post to explain the word.
janky: (jan'-kee) low quality; messed up
Some examples?
"All I know is when I put on that polka dot top with those paisley pants, I looked janky!"
"I knew this cake would taste good, but it looked so janky when the top layer fell apart, I had to just eat it myself."
"The reason no one wants to hear her talk about Christ is because her attitude is so janky!"
Now, that last statement is not just to help you know how to use the word, but to remind you of how your attitude and behavior can misrepresent Christ! I spoke to a fabulous group of women this weekend at Fellowship Orlando about the danger of Christians walking around being rude, judgmental, superior, and antagonistic, making our Savior look bad. There is absolutely nothing unattractive about Jesus, so when people find our faith unattractive it is because of something we are doing. I understand that we all have bad days and a janky attitude can sneak up on the best of us. I've certainly had one from time to time. However, we don't have the luxury of taking a day off from being the salt of the earth, the light of the world.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others,that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-15
God is counting on us to be His representatives to the lost people of the world. Lost people are watching you all the time. Whether you are at home, work, school, the mall, or the gym. People are watching you who know you are a Christ-follower, and what you do and say will either draw them to Christ or turn them away from Christ for another day. I'm not saying every time you correctly represent Christ in the world someone is going to accept him in that moment, but I do know that you are either moving them another step closer to the Lord, or driving them a little farther away. Each day we have to choose our attitude. Sometimes each minute of each day. We have to choose to selflessly put aside our own feelings or frustrations and represent our God to the best of our ability. What does that look like? I think the best description of a "non-janky", Christ-like demeanor is found in Galations 5:22-23,
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
If your behavior can be described by any of these words, then you are safe from being described as just janky!
janky: (jan'-kee) low quality; messed up
Some examples?
"All I know is when I put on that polka dot top with those paisley pants, I looked janky!"
"I knew this cake would taste good, but it looked so janky when the top layer fell apart, I had to just eat it myself."
"The reason no one wants to hear her talk about Christ is because her attitude is so janky!"
Now, that last statement is not just to help you know how to use the word, but to remind you of how your attitude and behavior can misrepresent Christ! I spoke to a fabulous group of women this weekend at Fellowship Orlando about the danger of Christians walking around being rude, judgmental, superior, and antagonistic, making our Savior look bad. There is absolutely nothing unattractive about Jesus, so when people find our faith unattractive it is because of something we are doing. I understand that we all have bad days and a janky attitude can sneak up on the best of us. I've certainly had one from time to time. However, we don't have the luxury of taking a day off from being the salt of the earth, the light of the world.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others,that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-15
God is counting on us to be His representatives to the lost people of the world. Lost people are watching you all the time. Whether you are at home, work, school, the mall, or the gym. People are watching you who know you are a Christ-follower, and what you do and say will either draw them to Christ or turn them away from Christ for another day. I'm not saying every time you correctly represent Christ in the world someone is going to accept him in that moment, but I do know that you are either moving them another step closer to the Lord, or driving them a little farther away. Each day we have to choose our attitude. Sometimes each minute of each day. We have to choose to selflessly put aside our own feelings or frustrations and represent our God to the best of our ability. What does that look like? I think the best description of a "non-janky", Christ-like demeanor is found in Galations 5:22-23,
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
If your behavior can be described by any of these words, then you are safe from being described as just janky!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
How I Started My Morning
The best way I know to get myself in the right frame of mind on any day is to start the day right and that means starting it with Christ. Reading verses from God's Word and singing a song of praise are perfect to do just that. This is how I started my day this morning. Just thought I would share both with you today.
Verses:
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us.Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God.We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us.Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God.We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.
Friday, February 1, 2013
15 Items or Less (Fewer)
When I was single, I probably went into the grocery store once a month at the most. My fridge was there to hold condiments, drinks, and the carry out containers from all of my dining out leftovers. However since, I've been married I actually have a refrigerator full of food to be cooked and prepared, which means I now make the weekly trek to the grocery store with occasional drop-ins in between. Now that the grocery store has become a regular part of my life experience, I have taken it on myself to learn the etiquette of grocery shopping and function accordingly. I double check my list before heading to the checkout line so that I don't have to run back for anything. I quickly load my items onto the conveyor belt so that the clerk is not waiting for me when he/she gets to scanning. I pull out my method of payment while the clerk is scanning so that the minute a total is read, I'm ready to swipe my card, and I load bags into my cart as they are filled up so when I'm handed my receipt, I'm good to go. All this allows the check-out clerk to run at maximum efficiency, and keeps the people behind me smiling at me with vague friendliness rather than mentally choking me for slowing them down.
However, I have begun to to notice that there are some people out there who just can't handle the check-out line in a grocery store. I'm not saying it's the majority. Most people understand the etiquette that comes with lining up to pay for their groceries, but at least once a month I encounter one of the handful of people who forget that anyone else exists and turn the check-out experiences into a tortuous gauntlet. Last month it was a lady who seemed to be trying to stick to a budget, but was not aware that you can add up the cost of your groceries as you put them in the basket. She waited until she was checking out with three people behind her to stop the clerk between each item to see what her total was so far. Then we had to wait while she thought about whether or not she wanted to keep the last few items that had apparently sent her over her budgeted total. After two minutes of pondering, we had to wait for her to dig into the secret compartment of her wallet to pull out the extra cash for her splurge. Of course by this time there were six people behind her rather than three and I could feel the heat of their eyes scorching my neck as the murderous beams were being thrown. This week it was a man and his wife who couldn't find the orange juice. He asked the clerk if they had any, which of course they did and then sent his wife looking while the clerk began scanning their items. I knew this was not going to end well when the wife walked away at a normal pace. Her legs were moving at a fourth of the speed that the clerk's arm was scanning. Of course the clerk finished and there was no sign of the wife. The two of us behind them turned to five while we waited for the wife to come back. When the husband glimpsed his wife way down the aisle looking aimlessly, he asked the clerk to go help her. When the clerk said he'd have to get someone else to help her and needed the man to pay for what he had so far so he could help the other customers in line (8 now) the man glanced at all of us behind him with no concern and said, "I'm a customer."
As I walked to my car some minutes later, I reflected on these semi-regular encounters I have and realized that they are great examples of how selfishly we can act without giving a thought to how it impacts others. Certainly, the long-term effects of waiting a few extra minutes in a grocery store line are not detrimental to me, but what is happening in that moment is something we all do from time to time that God wants to move us away from.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value other above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of others. Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
I may have mastered the selfless behavior that is required in a grocery store, but I know there are other times in life, when I'm just as guilty of being caught up in my own little bubble of "I, me, mine" and forget how my actions or inactions are impacting others. Too often we let our own lives, problems, concerns, or frustrations drown out the needs that others may have. It can be as simple as forgetting to ask someone how they are because you are caught up in your own thoughts. I can recall times when I've been having my own pity party in my head and then heard of someone else's pain and realized I don't even have a true problem in comparison. The conviction that comes when I realize I've spent way too much time on me and nowhere near enough time on others, weighs heavily on my heart. The weight comes from knowing I'm being as unlike Christ as I can be rather than being Christ-like, which is my goal.
Today, I'm hoping to take a lesson from my frustrating few at the grocery store. I want to look around and see who might be beside me. I want to think about how my next moves will impact them, not just me. I want to be considerate of others as I go through each day whether they are close friends or strangers. I want to be willing to let someone go ahead of me or have the last item at any time. Most importantly, I want to do this every day, not just on the days when I feel like it. Can you imagine how much better this world would be if we all put an effort into putting others first? I sure want to find out.
However, I have begun to to notice that there are some people out there who just can't handle the check-out line in a grocery store. I'm not saying it's the majority. Most people understand the etiquette that comes with lining up to pay for their groceries, but at least once a month I encounter one of the handful of people who forget that anyone else exists and turn the check-out experiences into a tortuous gauntlet. Last month it was a lady who seemed to be trying to stick to a budget, but was not aware that you can add up the cost of your groceries as you put them in the basket. She waited until she was checking out with three people behind her to stop the clerk between each item to see what her total was so far. Then we had to wait while she thought about whether or not she wanted to keep the last few items that had apparently sent her over her budgeted total. After two minutes of pondering, we had to wait for her to dig into the secret compartment of her wallet to pull out the extra cash for her splurge. Of course by this time there were six people behind her rather than three and I could feel the heat of their eyes scorching my neck as the murderous beams were being thrown. This week it was a man and his wife who couldn't find the orange juice. He asked the clerk if they had any, which of course they did and then sent his wife looking while the clerk began scanning their items. I knew this was not going to end well when the wife walked away at a normal pace. Her legs were moving at a fourth of the speed that the clerk's arm was scanning. Of course the clerk finished and there was no sign of the wife. The two of us behind them turned to five while we waited for the wife to come back. When the husband glimpsed his wife way down the aisle looking aimlessly, he asked the clerk to go help her. When the clerk said he'd have to get someone else to help her and needed the man to pay for what he had so far so he could help the other customers in line (8 now) the man glanced at all of us behind him with no concern and said, "I'm a customer."
As I walked to my car some minutes later, I reflected on these semi-regular encounters I have and realized that they are great examples of how selfishly we can act without giving a thought to how it impacts others. Certainly, the long-term effects of waiting a few extra minutes in a grocery store line are not detrimental to me, but what is happening in that moment is something we all do from time to time that God wants to move us away from.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value other above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of others. Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
I may have mastered the selfless behavior that is required in a grocery store, but I know there are other times in life, when I'm just as guilty of being caught up in my own little bubble of "I, me, mine" and forget how my actions or inactions are impacting others. Too often we let our own lives, problems, concerns, or frustrations drown out the needs that others may have. It can be as simple as forgetting to ask someone how they are because you are caught up in your own thoughts. I can recall times when I've been having my own pity party in my head and then heard of someone else's pain and realized I don't even have a true problem in comparison. The conviction that comes when I realize I've spent way too much time on me and nowhere near enough time on others, weighs heavily on my heart. The weight comes from knowing I'm being as unlike Christ as I can be rather than being Christ-like, which is my goal.
Today, I'm hoping to take a lesson from my frustrating few at the grocery store. I want to look around and see who might be beside me. I want to think about how my next moves will impact them, not just me. I want to be considerate of others as I go through each day whether they are close friends or strangers. I want to be willing to let someone go ahead of me or have the last item at any time. Most importantly, I want to do this every day, not just on the days when I feel like it. Can you imagine how much better this world would be if we all put an effort into putting others first? I sure want to find out.
Monday, January 28, 2013
BFF
This past week, I had the privilege of speaking to my fellow sisters of Flavour at my church home. The topic of the talk was friendships and having the right friends in your life. It is a topic that is easy for me to speak about because I'm blessed with the most incredible friends. The lesson from the Flavour team gave guidelines for finding the right friends. Look for women who are trustworthy, honest, encouraging, and yielded to God. As I was preparing for the lesson, it guided me to try to think of a different friend in my life that represented each of these qualities. My problem was not in trying to come up with four friends, but WHICH four friends. The phrase "my cup runneth over" is so aptly applied to how richly blessed I am in my friendships.
It always makes me sad when I hear women say they don't have any close girl friends. I hear all kinds of reasons for it. For some, they've relocated and not yet made new friends. Others say they've never gotten along with women and prefer to hang with men. Some will flat out say they don't trust women because they are too "messy" and can't be trusted. I've moved several times, so I understand how hard it is to make new friends in a new place. I've certainly had times in my life when it was a lot easier to hang with the guys, and I don't know woman alive over the age of 13 that hasn't had a "mean girl" experience. However, none of these are reasons to give up completely on finding loving, honest, women of God to walk with you through life. I can not imagine how I would have made it through the most difficult times of my life without my friends. Not to mention all of the fun and laughs we have together.
God created us to be relational beings. While our relationship with Christ is ultimately the most important in our lives, God's word also emphasizes the importance of friendships.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
My closest friends do exactly this in my life. They help me up when I fall. They encourage me, pray for me, remind of what is right, and call me out when I'm wrong. They have my back in every situation, but always in a way that is pleasing to God. I can share my problems and struggles with them and trust them to keep what I say private. They laugh with me and not at me (well most of the time-sometimes I'm laughing at me too), and they love me for who I am.
It always makes me sad when I hear women say they don't have any close girl friends. I hear all kinds of reasons for it. For some, they've relocated and not yet made new friends. Others say they've never gotten along with women and prefer to hang with men. Some will flat out say they don't trust women because they are too "messy" and can't be trusted. I've moved several times, so I understand how hard it is to make new friends in a new place. I've certainly had times in my life when it was a lot easier to hang with the guys, and I don't know woman alive over the age of 13 that hasn't had a "mean girl" experience. However, none of these are reasons to give up completely on finding loving, honest, women of God to walk with you through life. I can not imagine how I would have made it through the most difficult times of my life without my friends. Not to mention all of the fun and laughs we have together.
God created us to be relational beings. While our relationship with Christ is ultimately the most important in our lives, God's word also emphasizes the importance of friendships.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
My closest friends do exactly this in my life. They help me up when I fall. They encourage me, pray for me, remind of what is right, and call me out when I'm wrong. They have my back in every situation, but always in a way that is pleasing to God. I can share my problems and struggles with them and trust them to keep what I say private. They laugh with me and not at me (well most of the time-sometimes I'm laughing at me too), and they love me for who I am.
I have an amazing husband and an incredible family, but without my close friends, I would be missing a lot of love and support. If you don't know how to start finding friends like this, let me encourage you to first make sure you are ready to be a friend like this. Be someone that other women can trust and count out. Be compassionate, loving, and encouraging. Be ready to speak the truth in love and pray for the needs of others. Beyond this, take the initiative. Look for the women at your church who display these qualities and invite them to lunch or dinner. Make the time and invest it in those with whom you want to be closer. Friendships take time and effort to build but are certainly worth it. Some of my closest friends have come into my life in just the last five years, so don't give up on making new friends. Your new BFF may be waiting for you just around the corner.
Friday, January 25, 2013
A Joyous Blessing
To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
Isaiah 61:3
Years ago, I was advised to pray scripture, to speak God's words back to Him as I shared my hurts, desires, praises, and thanks. It was great advice that I have put into action before, but never have I seen it come to life as it has in the last year of my life. In January of last year I was grieving the loss of the child I'd carried for twelve weeks before miscarrying on Christmas Eve. I can't remember now if someone texted Isaiah 61 to me or if I just went to it on my own, but I definitely remember praying it fervently. I could not imagine at the time how my grief and despair could ever be turned into a "joyous blessing" or "festive praise", but I desperately wanted the Lord to ease the pain that was consuming me. When I discovered I was pregnant again in early March only to miscarry a week later, I went back to praying this verse, but I was also questioning God. "Lord, we don't seem to be headed in the right direction, AT ALL!" I remember telling my closest family and friends, that my faith was not shaken but my heart was broken. I knew all along that only God would be the answer to my sorrow, but from my very human perspective, I could not see a path out of the valley I was in. My lowest point came at the end of May when the results of numerous test came back to tell me that my chances for being able to produce a healthy egg that would result in a healthy baby were extremely low. For about a week I was wrapped up in a cocoon of despair. As I wrestled with the Lord over this diagnosis, I remember praying for Him to take away my desire to be a mother if this was going to be my reality. I knew that I was going to have to find peace, so I could continue to do the work of God that I have been called to do.
By mid-summer, the Lord had brought me back to a place of peace and contentment, and I found my joy for ministry in the exact place where He first called me to it: at camp with a bunch of high school kids. I went to camp to share God's word with the students, and it was there that God gave me back my joy and let me know I could handle whatever was or was not to be in my future. I would always have more than enough to be thankful for in my husband, my family, my friends, and ministry. My praise became festive again, and my broken heart was mended by God's love and faithfulness. My longing to be a mother was still with me, so I knew that if God had not taken it away, He had a plan to grant my desire in the future in some way. By the end of the summer, I was content to wait on His plan, His timing, and His way for that future.
One of my favorite things about God is when He acts in such a way that only He can get the credit. Too often we pray for something and then try to answer our own prayers by manipulating circumstances and taking action that God has not actually called us to take; what we actually need to do is be still and let Christ be lord of our lives. It was in a time of stillness that Jesus did exactly that in my life. One month after my husband and I decided to take no extra measures or medications to help us conceive, we found ourselves pregnant! Now, we are well into our 2nd trimester and the evidence of our blessing is beginning to show. As if the miracle of conception was not enough to let us know it was God taking action, the timing was further proof of God's love. Our due date of July 7th is in the same week of our due date last year. I spent last July 4th filled with grief for what was not happening, but I'm trusting in God's will that this July 4th week will be full of joy and celebration.
As I go back to my Isaiah verse now, I am overwhelmed with the love and faithfulness of my God. He truly has given me the crown of beauty, the joyous blessing, the festive praise in place of the ashes, mourning and despair that I was feeling just a year ago. Even as I know that other times of sorrow will come into my life, my faith in His redemptive love is stronger than it has ever been, and I am certain that any future sorrow will also be turned back into joy because God loves me that much. I share this with you all because I know that you too have sorrows in your life. I know you are mourning and grieving losses and despairs of all kinds, and I want to encourage and reassure you that our heavenly Father is faithful and will bring you out of that place of sorrow into a place of joyous light if you simply trust Him to do it.
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