BFF

This past week, I had the privilege of speaking to my fellow sisters of Flavour at my church home.  The topic of the talk was friendships and having the right friends in your life.  It is a topic that is easy for me to speak about because I'm blessed with the most incredible friends.  The lesson from the Flavour team gave guidelines for finding the right friends.  Look for women who are trustworthy, honest, encouraging, and yielded to God.  As I was preparing for the lesson,  it guided me to try to think of a different friend in my life that represented each of these qualities.  My problem was not in trying to come up with four friends, but WHICH four friends.  The phrase "my cup runneth over" is so aptly applied to how richly blessed I am in my friendships.   

It always makes me sad when I hear women say they don't have any close girl friends.  I hear all kinds of reasons for it.  For some, they've relocated and not yet made new friends.  Others say they've never gotten along with women and prefer to hang with men.  Some will flat out say they don't trust women because they are too "messy" and can't be trusted.  I've moved several times, so I understand how hard it is to make new friends in a new place.  I've certainly had times in my life when it was a lot easier to hang with the guys, and I don't know woman alive over the age of 13 that hasn't had a "mean  girl" experience.  However, none of these are reasons to give up completely on finding loving, honest, women of God to walk with you through life.  I can not imagine how I would have made it through the most difficult times of my life without my friends. Not to mention all of the fun and laughs we have together.    
God created us to be relational beings.  While our relationship with Christ is ultimately the most important in our lives, God's word also emphasizes the importance of friendships. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

My closest friends do exactly this in my life. They help me up when I fall. They encourage me, pray for me, remind of what is right, and call me out when I'm wrong. They have my back in every situation, but always in a way that is pleasing to God.  I can share my problems and struggles with them and trust them to keep what I say private.  They laugh with me and not at me (well most of the time-sometimes I'm laughing at me too), and they love me for who I am.  

I have an amazing husband and an incredible family, but without my close friends, I would be missing a lot of love and support.  If you don't know how to start finding friends like this, let me encourage you to first make sure you are ready to be a friend like this.  Be someone that other women can trust and count out.  Be compassionate, loving, and encouraging.  Be ready to speak the truth in love and pray for the needs of others.  Beyond this, take the initiative.  Look for the women at your church who display these qualities and invite them to lunch or dinner.  Make the time and invest it in those with whom you want to be closer. Friendships take time and effort to build but are certainly worth it. Some of my closest friends have come into my life in just the last five  years, so don't give up on making new friends.  Your new BFF may be waiting for you just around the corner.