The Artist Formerly Known as Prince

I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was 1983, and I was 9 years old attending the birthday party of a school mate, whose name I can't remember.  I can't remember much about the party except the moment when this song came on, and we all started dancing around in the way only silly 9 year-old girls can. I remember the song ended,  and I ran over to the record player (you know those cool vintage things they sell at the front of Urban Outfitters for way too much money) to read the label on the 45 so I could know what this song was.  It said "Delirious" by Prince.  I also remember going home after the party to look up the word "delirious" in the dictionary (you know that really thick book that says Webster's on it that is on your mom's bookshelf) because I had no idea what it meant.  I can't say that my nine year-old brain comprehended the complexity of the song or its meaning.  I just knew it was a lot of fun, it made me want to dance, and I had just become a Prince fan.  By the time Purple Rain came out a year later (a film I was definitely NOT allowed to see), we were living overseas, and I was the proud owner of a Sony Walkman (shout out to my fellow 80's kids).  I purchased my bootleg copy of the soundtrack at the souk in Yanbu, Saudi Arabia, and to this day, I can't picture the landscapes of that desert land without hearing "Purple Rain" and "When Doves Cry" in my head.  By the time I was in high school back in the USA, Prince was mandatory for dance team camp, and I still remember running to the group that would be learning the routine to "Batdance".  I mean even people who were not Prince fans got caught up in Julia Robert's rendition of "Kiss" in the movie Pretty Woman  and everybody had something to say when he changed his name to a symbol to protest his contract with his record label.  But, I didn't care about the hair, the heeled shoes, the bizarre outfits, or any of the theatrics.  I was simply a fan of his music. 

When I opened Instagram today and saw that Prince had died, I didn't have to look for a Prince station to stream (which apparently you could not do anyway).  I just opened up iTunes and started listening to my Prince playlist.  Yes, I already had a playlist.  Like I said, I'm a real fan.  I danced around my kitchen to "Delirous", "1999"and "Let's Go Crazy". I sang "Kiss", "Diamonds & Pearls" and "Adore" at the top of my lungs.  I vehemently explained to my 2 year old (who did not care at all) that "Nothing Compares 2 U" is Prince's song that Sinead borrowed, and his version performed as a duet is THE definitive version of the song.  And then I found myself alone in my car (praise God for babysitting friends) driving to Starbucks to do some writing, listening to "Purple Rain" and the tears began to form in my eyes.  Now,  I always thought the song had a heartbreaking sadness to it that made me well up even when I was 10, but today the tears were coming from the thought that came to my mind as I listened to the voice of this man that I was such a fan of for so many years, "Did Prince know Jesus?"  I've heard all kinds of rumors over the years about his beliefs, but you never know what is truth and what is gossip, and even when you know someone personally, you can't know for sure that they have made the decision to follow Christ. However, I began to wonder, did he?  Did someone share the Gospel with him in a clear and concise way at some point in his life? Did he hear the message? Did he recognize his own sinfulness and need for a savior--something we all need to do at some point if we want to spend eternity in heaven with God--and give his life to Christ? 

I don't know.  I just don't know, and that is why my sadness went even deeper than it had been when I first heard.  I've been in a study of the book of Revelation since September with BSF International and my pastor just started an incredible series on that same book.  Most people study the book of Revelation and get caught up in trying to understand all of the symbolism,  the four visions, the timeline of the end times and more.  Scholars debate all kinds of issues, and in my BSF group, we have had many discussions about the things we don't quite understand in the book, but the fact of the matter is, we are all curious about how the world will end and what happens after we die. We watch movies about it, read books about it, listen to songs about it.  Prince's own "1999" reveals his own interest in the subject and was written almost two full decades before we all freaked out over Y2K (Remember Y2k?  How ridiculous did that turn out to be!)  

I find that my own curiosity is easily satisfied.  When you tell me that I'm not supposed to completely understand something, I'm totally good with that.  Each time I've studied Revelation, I've been told at the beginning that there are some intentional mysteries in the book that we are not meant to understand, and I'm 100% satisfied to not understand them.  What is clear, is that in the end God wins, the devil loses, and every person who has ever lived will be on one side or the other - living eternally and joyfully with God or eternally and torturously with Satan.   I know that there are people who will read this and scoff, because you just don't believe that it is this black and white, this absolute.  You don't believe it because you haven't yet put your faith in the one true God.  I know there are people who read that sentence and get offended that I would claim there is only one true God.  I do believe that. Wholeheartedly.  Completely. Without question.  If I didn't believe it completely, then I could not claim to have any measure of faith.  

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Just a week ago  as Revelation was coming at me from all sides, I wrote this prayer request, "Let my worship be more heavenly, my witness have more urgency, and my will be completely yielded to God's!"  It's that second part that is at the forefront of my mind today as I mourn the loss of an incredibly talented man.  Does my witness have enough urgency? I didn't know Prince personally, so I can wonder if anyone told him about Christ, but I know plenty of other people personally that I can speak to personally.  There are people in my life: friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, schoolmates that I'm not sure I've taken the time to tell the Gospel.  I don't know for sure that they have ever heard clearly and concisely the Truth: 

• We are all born thinking of ourselves and our own desires first and foremost.   It's obvious when you simply watch a 1 or 2 year old (I have both of those at my house right now, so feel free to come over and see it in action).  That selfish mindset is sin.  When you put yourself first and think only of your own needs you will lie, cheat, steal, hit, or do whatever you need to do to please yourself regardless of how it impacts others.

• God, our creator, is holy and perfect and can have absolutely nothing to do with sin.  He is eternal, meaning He has always existed and will always exist, so because He is eternal and can't have anything to do with sin, sin has to be finite, it has to end in death.  We all sin and the consequence of sin is death. 

• God sent his perfect son, Jesus, to this world to live a completely selfless life from his birth to his death.  He was brutally punished and killed as though he had committed crimes, when in fact he was innocent of ever doing any wrong, making his death the ULTIMATE sacrifice.  An innocent man, died on the cross for all of us who are not innocent, taking on the punishment of death that we all deserve and he never did earn.  

• Jesus was dead, for two days, but on the third day he rose from the dead and was seen alive by hundreds in the 40 days after he rose and before he went on to Heaven.  (1 Corinthians 15:3-8)

• All who place their trust in Christ, acknowledge their sinfulness and need for a savior, believe in His death and resurrection, and receive the gracious gift of His sacrifice will be saved and will get to live eternally with God.   

There it is.  The truth.  The Gospel. It's that simple.  Knowing that it is that simple, and knowing that the consequence of not receiving this truth is so incredibly horrific, I'm compelled to share this truth with every person I can.  If you are a believer, you too should feel this urgency.  I don't want to hear about someone that I actually knew personally dying and know that I never once shared this eternity altering truth with him or her.  Whether or not they receive it is on them, but don't you want to know that they had a chance?  Don't you want to know, without question that you tried?  What holds me back? What holds you back? What keeps us from sharing the Truth that we know so well and hold so dearly?  Fear of rejection?  In this day and age you may be labeled crazy for sharing the Gospel.  Actually that's been true in every age.  There has never been a time in the history of Christianity that someone wasn't labeling true believers as crazy.  You can either be "safe" and make sure everyone thinks you're "normal" or "cool" or "sane" and never share the truth that could mean someone you know facing eternity in hell rather than in heaven, or you could speak up for God; you could allow compassion to direct you and maybe be called crazy.  To quote the artist formally know on this earth as Prince, LET'S GO CRAZY!!

#WifeStuff: Spring Clean Your Marriage

I confess, the spring cleaning bug has grabbed a hold of me.  I've already rearranged my kids dresser drawers and started reorganizing their closets.    Next up: organizing the kid stuff in the garage and then I get to bust out my favorite gadget: the label maker.  Yes, I'm one of those women who likes to organize and arrange.  There is something about spring cleaning that helps me shake off the winter doldrums and embrace fresh life and energy. I'm not sure why I find it so thrilling to fit all of the Melissa & Doug puzzles in the perfect size tub, or why I feel a sense of victory when I create a whole new shelf space by putting away all of the newborn toys and accessories.  I just do.   Now before some of you bail out on me, no I'm not writing this to compel all the wives to get to cleaning.  If it's what you like to do, then head to The Container Store, grab your label maker of choice and get to it.  For those of  you who would rather pull your hair out  strand by strand than do any kind of spring cleaning, hire yourself an organizer (a side hustle I have considered taking up more than once) and let them do the work for you.  However, I do think all of us married ladies could benefit from doing some spring cleaning in our marriages.  Let's be real, gals, we all have some messy "closets" that could use some attention in our marriages, and I think the spring season is a great time to clean out, reorganize and inject some fresh energy in our relationships with our husbands.  Before I break it down, let me just say that I'm writing this wife to wife.  That means this is something for us to do ladies.  Don't get bogged down in what you think your husband needs to do or what he won't do. God wants you to be the best wife you can be as it pleases Him.  We must do things in response to God's love and grace, not in response to what our men may or may not be doing. That having been said, let's get to cleaning.

Clear Out the Junk

You can not begin to do any real cleaning, if you don't first get rid of the junk.  Just this morning I went through my jewelry box and got rid of all the single earrings that have long since lost their mates. I dumped all of the cheap costume jewelry from 5+ years ago that I never wear anymore, and I also trashed some randomness that had come to roost in my jewelry box--where and when  I acquired one polka dot shoe lace I will never know.  There was no point in trying to organize my jewelry, until I made some space by cleaning out the junk I no longer need or use.  How does this apply to your marriage?  NO, I'm not saying throw out your husband or his stuff!   Remember, in this spring cleaning exercise we are focusing on ourselves and what we can do to bring new life to our relationship.  That means throwing out the junk that gets in the way of your relationship.  What grudges are you holding against your husband?  What old hurt do you need to finally release?  I'm not saying he wasn't wrong (because he probably was). I'm not saying you weren't right (you probably were).  What I am saying is, you need to let go of the old stuff.  

I should clarify that anything that happened before today would qualify as old.  Yes, that's right.  God tells us in Ephesians 4:26 "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry".   You may not always be able to resolve every argument before you head to bed, but I think the bigger principle in this verse is that anger should not linger.  It is not enough to talk and apologize after an argument with your husband. You have to make sure that you are not holding on to any of the residual anger from that situation.  1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love "keeps no record of wrongs".  Girls, we are really good at remembering every wrong and keeping it filed away for future recollection, but that is a skill we need to lose.  It is the equivalent of having the scary hoarder closet in your house where you have piles of junk you never use, but won't throw away because you "may need it someday".  You're never going to use those bowling shoes that are a size to small, or actually make bread in that bread maker.  That's why those things are in the scary closet.  Keeping track of every error your husband has made serves no purpose unless your goal is to build up shrapnel to drop on him someday like a dirty bomb, and that is the action of a terrorist not a loving spouse.  Throw out that junk ladies. Stop reflecting on the bad and make space in your mind and heart for the good things that your husband has done and will keep doing for you.  Let his right moves linger in your heart and mind so that you will view him in a positive light. 

Find the Forgotten Treasures

It never fails when I start spring cleaning, I come across something that I forgot I have and really love.  Sometimes it's a fabulous pair of shoes that got stuck behind a box on a shelf.  This morning it was a necklace that was tucked away in my jewelry box that I hadn't worn in a couple of years.  I'm wearing it right now, because YAY!  I truly believe that there are some forgotten, hidden treasures in your marriage that got stuck behind some of the junk you needed to clean out.  Once you stop being mad about what he forgot to do for you last month, you might rediscover how great it feels when you catch him looking at you for no reason other than he likes what he sees.  Perhaps you'll rediscover a fun activity you guys have always enjoyed doing together.  Maybe you'll come across something tangible that he gave to you that puts a smile on your face when you reflect on his thoughtfulness in that moment.  You married this man for a reason. Once upon a time you were all excited to put on a cute outfit and wait for him to pick you up for a date.  You walked down an aisle, staircase, sidewalk or sandy beach with eagerness to say I do to this man.  There was something delightful about him that captured your heart.  I bet it is still there.  Oh it may be buried under work or kids or everyday life, but it is there. 

 My husband and I share a love of music and when we were dating we spent a lot of time listening to music and talking about old songs that we both liked.  Recently, we did this again when our little ones were asleep.  We pulled old rap and R&B lyrics out of our memories and laughed over our 90's taste together.  It was a simple and sweet evening of just having fun together.  What is your thing with your husband? What can you do to rediscover that treasure?  Proverbs 5:18 says,  "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth."   This verse is an encouragement to husbands to enjoy and delight in their wives throughout marriage just as they did when the relationship was young.  Ladies, our husbands cannot enjoy us if we are not looking for that same enjoyment.  I was told early in my marriage by my Christian therapist that as the wife, I set the tone 99% of the time, and that has proven to be true in the almost seven years I've been married.  Set a tone of joy and rediscovery with your spouse and see what treasures you'll find! 

Label EVERYTHING!

Spring cleaning is not complete for me until I've pulled out the label maker and left my mark on each space I've organized.  Labels help identify what things are and where they go.  They allow me to maintain the clean that I've just created.  I think we can do the same thing in our marriages as we spring clean.  Identify how you want to act and respond as a wife.  Are you joyful, loving, forgiving, selfless, and submitted?  If you answered yes to all of those, you are a big fat liar! None of us have accomplished all these things, but all of us should be working on having all of these traits.  Identify the kinds of things you want to say to your husband.  How do you want to respond when he misses the mark? Is there a better way to let him know you're hurt or bothered by something?  Label it! Practice it.  Put it in a place in your mind that is easily accessible.  

Just this week my husband said something that hurt my feelings. It was in NO WAY his intention,  it was just one of those things that guys can say to guys and find it funny, but because I'm all full of estrogen and chocolate and feelings, I got all worked up.  However, my mistake was in the moment when I responded by getting angry.  After reflecting on the moment the next morning,  I realized that he had no intention of hurting me and no clue why I was suddenly mad at him.  Later that next day, I apologized for my response and told him that I'm going to work on saying the very simple phrase, "Babe, that hurt my feelings." Anger is the easier response, but more harmful.  Saying I'm hurt requires me to show vulnerability and is tougher for me, but more honest and easier for him to respond to in a way that will bring us to resolution sooner.   I had to identify the better response and put it in the forefront of my mind for future use.  I labeled it, so that things will go smoother in the future.  

Sisters, I can tell you that I do not have it all together as a wife. I'm a work in progress, working on getting better every single day.  I mess up and start over all the time, but I live with the goal of having a godly marriage to the magnificent man God blessed me to call my own.  That means I have to care for my marriage in the same way I would care for any other precious thing in my life.  Spring cleaning my marriage is not about going through the motions, but about working towards a result that will bring us more joy and God more glory!  I pray that you will join me this spring in giving your marriage the love, care, and attention that only YOU can bring to it!