When I was single, I probably went into the grocery store once a month at the most. My fridge was there to hold condiments, drinks, and the carry out containers from all of my dining out leftovers. However since, I've been married I actually have a refrigerator full of food to be cooked and prepared, which means I now make the weekly trek to the grocery store with occasional drop-ins in between. Now that the grocery store has become a regular part of my life experience, I have taken it on myself to learn the etiquette of grocery shopping and function accordingly. I double check my list before heading to the checkout line so that I don't have to run back for anything. I quickly load my items onto the conveyor belt so that the clerk is not waiting for me when he/she gets to scanning. I pull out my method of payment while the clerk is scanning so that the minute a total is read, I'm ready to swipe my card, and I load bags into my cart as they are filled up so when I'm handed my receipt, I'm good to go. All this allows the check-out clerk to run at maximum efficiency, and keeps the people behind me smiling at me with vague friendliness rather than mentally choking me for slowing them down.
However, I have begun to to notice that there are some people out there who just can't handle the check-out line in a grocery store. I'm not saying it's the majority. Most people understand the etiquette that comes with lining up to pay for their groceries, but at least once a month I encounter one of the handful of people who forget that anyone else exists and turn the check-out experiences into a tortuous gauntlet. Last month it was a lady who seemed to be trying to stick to a budget, but was not aware that you can add up the cost of your groceries as you put them in the basket. She waited until she was checking out with three people behind her to stop the clerk between each item to see what her total was so far. Then we had to wait while she thought about whether or not she wanted to keep the last few items that had apparently sent her over her budgeted total. After two minutes of pondering, we had to wait for her to dig into the secret compartment of her wallet to pull out the extra cash for her splurge. Of course by this time there were six people behind her rather than three and I could feel the heat of their eyes scorching my neck as the murderous beams were being thrown. This week it was a man and his wife who couldn't find the orange juice. He asked the clerk if they had any, which of course they did and then sent his wife looking while the clerk began scanning their items. I knew this was not going to end well when the wife walked away at a normal pace. Her legs were moving at a fourth of the speed that the clerk's arm was scanning. Of course the clerk finished and there was no sign of the wife. The two of us behind them turned to five while we waited for the wife to come back. When the husband glimpsed his wife way down the aisle looking aimlessly, he asked the clerk to go help her. When the clerk said he'd have to get someone else to help her and needed the man to pay for what he had so far so he could help the other customers in line (8 now) the man glanced at all of us behind him with no concern and said, "I'm a customer."
As I walked to my car some minutes later, I reflected on these semi-regular encounters I have and realized that they are great examples of how selfishly we can act without giving a thought to how it impacts others. Certainly, the long-term effects of waiting a few extra minutes in a grocery store line are not detrimental to me, but what is happening in that moment is something we all do from time to time that God wants to move us away from.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value other above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of others. Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
I may have mastered the selfless behavior that is required in a grocery store, but I know there are other times in life, when I'm just as guilty of being caught up in my own little bubble of "I, me, mine" and forget how my actions or inactions are impacting others. Too often we let our own lives, problems, concerns, or frustrations drown out the needs that others may have. It can be as simple as forgetting to ask someone how they are because you are caught up in your own thoughts. I can recall times when I've been having my own pity party in my head and then heard of someone else's pain and realized I don't even have a true problem in comparison. The conviction that comes when I realize I've spent way too much time on me and nowhere near enough time on others, weighs heavily on my heart. The weight comes from knowing I'm being as unlike Christ as I can be rather than being Christ-like, which is my goal.
Today, I'm hoping to take a lesson from my frustrating few at the grocery store. I want to look around and see who might be beside me. I want to think about how my next moves will impact them, not just me. I want to be considerate of others as I go through each day whether they are close friends or strangers. I want to be willing to let someone go ahead of me or have the last item at any time. Most importantly, I want to do this every day, not just on the days when I feel like it. Can you imagine how much better this world would be if we all put an effort into putting others first? I sure want to find out.
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