Facing This Mother's Day

As this Mother's Day approaches I find it hard to pin down my emotions.  I have the greatest mother on the planet, so I have always loved celebrating her.  Frankly, with a kid like me she should get two holidays a year, not one.  I was not an easy one to raise, and yet she did it with grace, love, and discipline.  In my admiration for my mom, I always knew one way I wanted to emulate her. I looked forward to the day that I would get to be the kind of mom to my own children, that my mom had been to me. When I was recovering from my abortion years ago, I grieved the child I was too foolish to keep, but had great hopes for the ones yet to come.  I still look forward to that day, but it has been delayed.  In the past six months I have miscarried two children and instead of this being my "mom-to-be" Mother's Day, it will be a day of hope and gratitude mixed with grief and sorrow.  I know that I will not be able to help thinking of the children that I've lost this Mother's Day, the ones I will never hold and will never hear call me "Mommy".  At the same time, I believe that I will someday hold other children who will call me "Mommy" and "Mama" and "Mom" and "Mother!" in all the tones that those words are delivered, good and bad.  As I count down to this Sunday, I can't help but think of the other mothers out there like me.  Others have made the horrible decision of terminating their children and now live with the grief and regret that comes in the aftermath.  Others have lost children who were never born and feel the emptiness of their arms deeply.  Other still, like my own mother, have lost children that they knew and named, dressed and bathed, played with and talked to.  Those mothers have pictures and toys and songs that still hold the memories of those children they have outlived.  We may arrive at this day from different causes but we are unified on this day by our sorrow.  My prayer is that we will also be unified in our hope. 

I don't doubt I and many of you will shed a few tears this Sunday.  To be honest, I already have shed a few this week just thinking about the day to come, but I know that some of the tears I shed will be tears of joy.  I am so thankful that our God also grieved the loss of a child, His Son.  He knows our exact pain and sorrow.  He felt our loss to a greater extent than we have felt it, and He did so willingly.  "For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."  This verse from John 3:16 is so often quoted, but this Mother's Day it has new meaning for me.  Not only has God felt my pain, but He chose to feel it to save us all!  He allowed His perfect, flawless Child to die, so His imperfect, sinful children could live!  I am more thankful for that now than I have ever been.  I am thankful that I serve a God who has a capacity for love that far exceeds my ability to understand it or receive it. I'm thankful that Jesus Christ so willingly walked this earth so that I could have a perfect model for how to live my life.  Every sacrifice He made, was made for God's glory, even when those around Him did not get it.  

So this Mother's Day, I am praying for the strength that comes from my Savior. I'm praying for the strength to serve for His glory even if those around me don't get it, to serve for His glory even when I don't get it.   I am praying for all of the other mothers out there who know Jesus Christ to be comforted by the knowledge that our God truly understands, and if we live our lives for His glory, our losses are not in vain.  This Sunday we can be more than mothers who have lost our children, we can be daughters of the King who live on for His glory.  To live with hope is to glorify God, so know that your hope has not died with your children. Your hope lives in Jesus Christ who is eternal.  Trust in Him.  Hope.  Be joyful.  In all of these things, you will bring glory to God!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13