The Good Stuff of Life: Lessons From a Two-Year-Old

Let's face it, being an adult is often not very fun.  You've got jobs, bills, politics, disasters, relationship drama, family drama, work drama, and all the other drama floating through your brain at all times. It is easy to forget about the good stuff of life and forget find ways to celebrate and enjoy yourself each day.  I'm as guilty of it as the next person, but I've recently realized that my two-year-old daughter, Faith,  is a master at enjoying the good stuff life has to offer. She's too young to be burdened with all the junk so she simply moves from one good moment to the other. Fortunately, I spend my days with her so I'm getting a crash course in learning  how to love life from moment to moment.  This week, I wanted to share some of her best lessons with you!

1. Everything is more fun with the people you love.
One of my daughter's favorite things to say to my husband and me is, "C'mon, you guys!"  Whether she's about to play with blocks, listen to her favorite jams, or look out the window, she knows she's going to enjoy it much more if we come along with her.  She has instigated many a family dance party or art project with those three simple words, and I have to confess she's right.  Whatever my mood was before, when I'm standing in the room with the people on earth I love the most doing just about anything, I find my mood getting better, a smile takes over my frown, and I lose track of time! This is true with my husband and kids.  It's equally true with my best friends.  Whoever "your people" are just find a way to spend time with them.  If you don't have a spouse, be sure you have some great friends.  If your family of origin is awful, find friends that will be your chosen family.  If you and your spouse are longing for little ones and it is not yet happening, get back to having fun as a couple.  God intentionally designed us to want to be in relationships with other people, so it is vital that we foster those relationships in our lives by spending time together.  Go bowling.  Go for a walk. Go play laser tag. Go talk over coffee.  Just go and do something with people who have your back! 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.... A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9,12

2. There IS a time to dance!
No, that's not just a quote from Footloose, it's actually from Ecclesiastes too! We do a lot of dancing as a group in our home.  My daughter may instigate it now, but she came by it honestly, because I've been having dance breaks with my best friend since my single days (Regina, you know what I'm talking about).  It is nearly impossible to stay ticked off, sad, or lonely when you're dancing.  Put on the song that compels your body to shimmy and shake and get your dance on.  Now, I know some of you are saying, "Janay.  I. Don't. Dance."  Fine, close the blinds, pull the curtains, turn off the lights, and in a room all by yourself, turn up your favorite jam and SHAKE IT!!  No one has to know. No one has to see.  Whether your jam is by Nirvana, Gretchen Wilson, Prince, Tupac, Nsync, Earth Wind and Fire, Paramore or Mary Mary (I'm not ashamed to admit, I've been known to dance to all of these.) Whatever the genre, however good or bad your moves, in a group or Billy Idol style ("Dancing With Myself") a daily dance break will help you shake off the worst of your day and clear your mind of some of the junk!

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens,...a time to mourn and a time to dance...."  Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

3. Ask someone their name; you might just make their day.  
If there is one question I know I'm going to hear from Faith everyday, that question is, "Mommy, can I ask her her name?"  She has asked me this question at the Gap, the dry cleaners, the playground, the drive-thru, and pretty much anywhere else we have taken her.  If there is a new face in front of her, she wants to know his or her name. I have to confess, the first time she wanted to know the drive-thru person's name, I blew her off with some lame answer.  For some reason I can not explain, I was not comfortable asking the lady sticking her head out of the window at Taco Bueno what her name was.  I had no problem asking her for extra jalapeños, but asking her name seemed weird.  It has now been a few months, and not only do I ask, I roll down the back window and let Faith ask directly.  Yes, most people react at first with surprise, but you know what comes next every single time?  A smile!  Typically, the people we are asking are cashiers or store clerks or working in some capacity and are accustomed to people expecting them to offer a service without being acknowledged as a person.  It took my two year-old's genuine interest in people  to make me see how easily we look right through others, and how good we can make them feel by looking right at them, acknowledging them as a person, and being interested enough to ask something as simple as their name. Think of how much it means to us to know that our heavenly Father calls us by name.  Surely, we can offer a fraction of His love by calling those we encounter each day by their name. 

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."  Isaiah 43:1b

4. Have a little Faith.  
Yes, for me this sentence has double meaning. Having my own little Faith in my life brings me immeasurable joy.  If you have a child you know what I'm talking about. If you have lost a child and/or are still longing for a child, I pray for your broken heart and pray that you can know this joy personally whether you give birth, find a surrogate, adopt or whatever!  But this last point is not actually about my child, it is about the other meaning of this phrase.  It's about believing in the things you can't see.  No one can believe in the intangible better than a little kid.  My daughter is absolutely sure that her father is going to come home at the end of each day, swoop her up into his arms, tell her he loves her, and just delight in her company.  She doesn't doubt it.  At some point each day, she will tell me something that "my Papa" is going to do, say, fix, or solve.  He is her protector, her hero, her fixer, and her source of all knowledge and wisdom. If she asks me a question that I can't answer, she replies, "I'll ask Papa, he knows."   Her absolute faith in her father is a daily reminder to me that I too have a Father that I can have absolute faith in.  My heavenly Father is my protector, my hero, my fixer, and my source of all knowledge and wisdom.  There is no problem He can't solve, no hurt He can't heal, no question He can't answer.  He loves me perfectly and completely. He delights in me.  The same is true for you.  As you walk through your day, put yourself back in the position of being a child with a Father who is waiting for you to run into His arms  at the end of the day, so He can tell you that He loves you and remind you that you are His and He is yours.  With a child-like faith, you truly can get back to enjoying the good stuff that life has to bring!

He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.  Psalm 18:19

Don't Get It Twisted!

This past weekend, I sat on my couch watching the news coverage of the presidential candidates, eager to hear any of them say something that would get me excited enough to slap their bumper sticker on my car and confidently fill in the circle on my ballot next to their name on Tuesday.  I was hoping for a speech reminiscent of my favorite fictional president, Josiah Bartlett, from "The West Wing".  Granted, he was not real, and his words were the carefully crafted creation of Emmy & Oscar winning writer Aaron Sorkin, but still a girl can dream. However, my dream was quickly crushed, because instead of hearing inspiring speeches or even some boring ones, what I heard was a lot of name calling, mocking, and insult trading that sounded more like an episode of "The Simpsons".  I was disappointed and disgusted,and while I did still vote in the primary, I was incredibly put off by everything I heard.  I mean do I really want anyone of these people that can speak so thoughtlessly, rudely and immaturely to represent my nation to the world?  I even tweeted my feelings (I intentionally avoid commenting on politics on social media as a rule). 

As only He can, God only allowed me to linger over my disgust and distaste for this "bad behavior" of the candidates for a short moment, before He held up the giant, Holy Spirit, magnifying mirror in front of my face. You know the mirror, I'm talking about.  The one that makes the smallest blemish  look like a crater, but instead of a pimple on your face, it's an ugly spot in your character.  Suddenly, the question floating in my mind was, "What thoughtless, rude, immature thing have I said that has completely undermined my ability to represent Christ?"  OUCH!   It didn't take me long to come up with one or two (or three or four).  Sure, I'm not saying them on the evening news on national television, but I have said them in front of my children.  My husband has heard me speak things that don't exactly make me a great representative of the Savior.  I've gotten riled up on the phone with AT&T, Time Warner, Sprint, TXU,  or some other company that put me on hold one too many times without solving my problem.  I've let my frustration come out at the customer service desk at Dillard's, Target, Nordstrom (okay, not Nordstrom, but only because it is a magical place with incredible customer service where I'm always happy- that was a completely free, non-celebrity endorsement).  I may not have dropped F-bombs or screamed at the top of my lungs or called anyone a name, but I've certainly let my tongue take over and spoken words that were in no way loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, gentle, faithful, or exhibiting any measure of self-control ("What's that, Fruits of the Spirit, You can't grow on a tree with a twisted tongue? My bad!").  

This was certainly not a new discovery, but more of a reminder that God gives me on a regular, and I do mean regular, basis, because it is an area of weakness, an area in which I have always and likely will always struggle. I have to stay on my guard when it comes to my tongue or it will bring me down.  I venture to say this is not just true for me but for all of us when I read what the Bible has to say on the subject. 

Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly

 will come to ruin.  Proverbs 13:3

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.   James 3:6

James goes on to warn us that when we allow our mouths to speak ill of others, all of whom are God's creation, made in His image, we negate any praise that we have spoken of that same God.  In other words, you might as well be speaking to God or about God when you are rude to or condemning of any person. Our tongues can be great instruments of praise and encouragement and joy, but they can also be horrific deliverers of pain and suffering when we allow them free reign.   If my children hear me say rude or ugly things about someone, I lose credibility when I try to teach them to speak kindly and respectfully to others.  When I lash out verbally at my husband in the heat of the moment,  it diminishes the impact when I later try to tell him that I love him and admire him.  When I'm irritable and pushy at the grocery store, it undermines my attempt to  invite that same cashier to church a few weeks later.  I can not allow my tongue to take over and start fires all around me. I can not allow my emotions to unleash my tongue and let it run untamed and out of control.  I can not allow my mind to rationalize and convince me to let my guard down and give my tongue free reign for any reason whatsoever.  

What you and I think of the candidates' words doesn't really matter.  What matters is what God thinks of how each of us behaves.  How is your tongue?  Do you have it on a short leash, guarding your lips and being careful of what you allow to slip out?  Have you recently let loose your own tirade (short or long) of unkindness, no matter how justified you felt in the moment?  Have you lost your credibility as a witness for Christ in your attempt to win a verbal dispute?  My prayer this week for you and for myself is that we all do a better job of guarding our tongue for the most important reason of all, for the glory of God.  I pray that we can all be witnesses for Him not just in what we do say, but in what we choose not to say.  I pray we can all keep our tongues under control, and that we don't get it twisted!