Friday, June 29, 2012

5 Musts When My Mom Visits

I've lived in Dallas for the last ten years, and every year I take a couple of days off and  my mom comes to town for a fun visit.  We get to catch up, have girl time, and do something fun.  I'm blessed to have such an amazing relationship with my mom, and I really love getting to spend time with her! There are some "musts" for me when my mom visits that I thought I'd share with you all today!

  • Pamper Mom: When my mom comes, I love to give her the royal treatment.  The way I see it, she has taken amazing care of us without giving it a second thought, so when she is here, I get to flip the script.  She doesn't cook, wash a dish, or anything.  I like her to wake up to her cup of coffee and let her lounge as I cook and clean up for us.  It really is a small thing to get to do for a woman that spent years cooking for and cleaning up behind me!

  • Lunch at a New Place: I try to take mom out for a delicious lunch at a place we've never been before.  This visit, I took her to Two Sisters for a delicious, eclectic lunch! Technically, she's tasted their food before as they catered my wedding, but their cafe was a new experience for her!

  • Go Somewhere Fun: I try to take mom to something fun when she comes. Now, we have been known to spend the whole visit talking and never make it to our fun destination, but this visit we did manage to stop talking long enough to get in the car and head over to the Dallas World Aquarium.  We had a great time seeing all the fish, birds, and animals from sharks to penguins to jaguars!  It didn't hurt that the place is pretty much all indoors so we got to enjoy it all in the A/C on a 104 degree day!

  • Talk, Talk, and More Talk: Whatever else we may do on a visit, our main goal is to talk! A few days before my mom comes, we will text each other reminders of things we want to tell or ask each other once we're together.  We have even sometimes made lists of topics so we don't forget anything.   Just to be clear we don't gossip. My mom does not gossip at all, and I'm a recovering gossip, so our stories are things that have happened in our lives, people we've run into, and lots of self-deprecating tales that are just funny.  I love talking to my mom and sharing things with her.  After all these years, I still get to learn new things about her, and I get to benefit from her wisdom and experience.  

  • Prayer: Before my mom hits the road again, she always prays for me. There is no greater gift from my mother than to have her pray for me.  Her relationship with Christ has been a model for me my entire life (even when I wasn't paying attention), so her prayers for me are extra special.
I have always known I have a great mom, but the more women I talk to, the more I realize our relationship is special and not necessarily common, so I feel extra blessed!  






Thursday, June 28, 2012

My "Friend" Ann Curry

So, you know how some people are slightly crazy and believe that if they ever met a particular celebrity in real life they would be great friends and hang out?  Yeah, I'm one of those people..., and for years now I have thought that about Ann Curry.  I've been a daily viewer of the Today Show catching at least the first hour every morning and getting all the news I needed, along with some great stories and tips.  I've never wandered over to any of the other morning shows, as I'm a loyal gal and the Today Show had my loyalty.  Over the years I've become attached to various reporters on the show, but in particular I've been a great fan of Ann Curry, and, in my head at least, thought of her as a good friend.


When the rumors started surfacing that she was on her way out, I hoped they would pan out to be just that,  rumors, but to my dismay, late last night my faithful app alerted me to the fact that Ann really is leaving and her last show will be today.  I felt as though I'd just heard my friend was moving away.  I have had coffee with Ann (boy, I sure miss coffee), breakfast with Ann, brushed my teeth with Ann, applied mascara with Ann, twisted my hair with Ann, packed my hubby's lunch with Ann, cleaned with Ann, and caught up on work emails with Ann to just name a few things.  I have also come to respect and admire Ann Curry for her great journalistic skill, savvy interviews, heartwarming compassion, easy laugh, and fantastic sense of style (have you checked out this woman's shoes!?!).  It is no wonder that I will miss her presence on the show.   


Yes, she'll go on to do many great things, and I will likely be tuned in for all of them, but, today, I will tune into the Today Show with a sad heart as I have my last morning with my "friend".  There are not a lot of women on television who I think of as having great class.  In fact, many of the women on television today seem to prefer crass to class.  Ann is a class act through and through.  She is woman who works hard, cares deeply, and strives for excellence in her work, and her exit will be a great loss not just to the Today Show, but to the millions of viewers that have benefited from her presence each morning. Thanks, Ann for bringing us your grace and poise for so many years.  You will be missed, at least by me..., your "good friend", Janay. 

Monday, June 25, 2012

A Shout-Out to Two Talented Ladies

Last week, I was very excited to have my new website go live, and I want to take a moment to give a shout-out to a couple of amazing women who helped make it look so great.  As I began to put together my website and blog I realized how much I do not know about such things.  I did manage to get a "placeholder" website up and use one of the standard templates to throw together my blog, but I knew I needed to find a professional who can make both things look excellent.  I was blessed to find the fabulous Karie Williams, a Dallas based brand strategist.  Her gifts in marketing, graphic design, and art direction blew me away.  Frankly, I think her job is incredibly cool and completely beyond my comprehension!  I'm a girl who can't  draw a stick figure, but I know what I like when I see it, and with Karie, I love her work!  The other fabulous woman that helped make all this come together was the photographer, Hope Toliver.  Hope lives and works in the Tulsa area, but she was kind enough to squeeze a photo shoot in on a recent trip to Dallas.  Ladies, we all know that the camera can be your best friend or your worst enemy, so finding someone that can make you look beautiful, even in a close up, is a treasure!  I'm so thankful to God for gifting these ladies with their talents, and I'm thankful to Karie and Hope for using those talents to help a sister out!  

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

But Would You Say it to My Face?

My pastor has been doing a series on some of the hot issues of our nation for the last few weeks, and this past Sunday he talked about bullying.  In the context of the message, he talked about cyber bullying and how people use Facebook and Twitter, among other sites, to post pics and comments that are hurtful and damaging.  He made the great point that most of these people are saying things online that they would never say to a person's face.  Today, I was online reading some different things and looking at Facebook and saw two great examples of what he was saying, and I must admit I had a visceral reaction.  

The first encounter was a picture posted on Facebook of a somewhat overweight girl in an unflattering dress.  It was obviously a self-portrait she took in the bathroom mirror, but it had been turned into the punchline of a joke that was making fun of her appearance.  All I could see, was the face of a very young woman, and I found myself imagining how she felt seeing this post, which I'm sure she has.  The self-esteem of a teenage girl is a delicate thing, that when damaged can have far reaching repercussions.  I was horrified that anyone would pass this post along as a joke or comment on it with "LOL" and "BAHAHAHA".  If that young girl was standing in front of any of those adults, yes they were adults, I can't imagine that they would treat her so unkindly, yet the imaginary wall of Facebook somehow removed compassion and common decency from people that I would guess are generally decent people.  

The second thing I saw was an article on Glamour.com written by Bethenny Frankel as she shared the pain and heartache of her miscarriage earlier this year.  Having walked through two miscarriages recently, I was drawn to the article as I could relate to her pain and admire her courage to share her experience, with the hope of encouraging other women who have been down that road.  I was scrolling down to leave a comment of "thanks for sharing" when I was shocked to see negative comments.  Women who had experienced their own losses telling her to get over it because she was only seven weeks along in her pregnancy and they had been over twenty weeks, or women who were criticizing her for mourning her loss when she already has a child and they don't have any children.  As if one child is a replacement for another.  As if one person's loss is more valuable than another's based on time.   I don't agree with everything Bethenny says as she does not share my faith and basis for decision making, but I can completely relate to her pain.  To know that women out there would read about her pain and then choose to add to it by belittling her loss, made me sick to my stomach. I've seen her talk about this in interviews and each time she has been moved to tears, by her own pain, but still bravely  went on to share her story.  I would bet none of those women who had such harsh things to say, would think to speak those words to her face if they could stand in front of her as she cried out her hurt. 

So here's the deal, people: words hurt, spoken or written.  We should apply the same filter to our online voice as we do to our face to face voice.  Beating people up with your words is wrong.  Callously mocking people is wrong. Now, I'm all for a good joke between friends.  I have some hilarious friends, and we make fun of ourselves and each other when we're together, but it is in love, in fun, and with limits.  We know each other well, and we never cross the line into hurtful.  Seeing what I saw today makes me want to go back on my own social media pages and see if I have said hurtful words just for the joke and delete them and apologize to anyone I have hurt. It is not worth the laugh if the laugh causes someone else's tears.   I will for sure be very careful about what I post and say in the future.  I was thinking about the words in James 3:6:

"And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself."

Don't take this verse so literally that you miss the principle.  Now that we do a lot of our talking online, we need to include the fingers that are typing and texting in this verse, because they are being used like the tongue in this virtual world in which we all spend a lot of our time.  Let your words encourage someone rather than tear someone down. If you can't do that, go back to the basic rules of Thumper's mom: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all"!  I'm just sayin'! 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The O.D. (Original Diva)

When you look up the word "diva" in the dictionary it says, "a usually glamorous and successful female performer or personality."  Now, I know some people use the word in a deragotory manner, but I love the word diva, and I always mean it as a compliment. To me a diva is a chick with great style, great confidence, and great skills.  The people in my life that I think of as divas have a variety of careers and are fabulous from my point of view.  My friend Leslie is a diva doctor.  She makes a stethoscope look good. My friend Regina is a diva real estate agent, working her shoes and her sold signs with equal grace.  My friend Patricia is a diva engineer.  She takes her fabulous to the MIT reunions, people, and in great heels!  I'm a fan of the diva in every way and my love for diva-ness began at an early age. 

Allow me to introduce you to the Original Diva in my life, my grandmother, Eula Mae Baptiste.  


As you can see from this picture, she had fabulous covered even as a grandmother. When I think of her, I remember a woman who had a standing hair appointment with her beautician.  She could put together a perfect outfit with ease, complete with accessories.  She looked even better when she would slide on her sunglasses as she slid behind the wheel of her white on white Lincoln Mark V.  She had the style and confidence covered for sure. As for her great talent, it was being a mother.  My grandmother raised seven incredible children.  Even though she and my grandfather never went to college, she prioritized education, demanding her children speak proper english, no slang or bad grammar allowed, and study faithfully. The result, was seven kids that went to college and several who went  on to graduate school.  She taught them what it meant to be family and how to love each other, and her legacy lives on in her children and grandchildren and the love they have for each other.  She instilled her children with values, dignity, and a sense of self-worth that has passed on to the next two generations to follow. 

Last weekend we celebrated my cousin's high school graduation.  She is in the next generation of our family, a great-grandchild to my precious grandmother and her nickname on her volleyball team...Diva.  When I saw that, I was thrilled, thrilled because I know my grandmother lives on in the fabulous women that are her progeny.  Let's do her proud, divas!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

To Procrastinate or Not?... I'll Answer Later.

"Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today?"  I have answered that question many times over the years in many ways with all the good and bad excuses I could come up with.  I don't think I'm an extreme procrastinator, but I do think we all procrastinate to some extent.  We all come up with a reason to not mop the floor, do the laundry, or finish writing that paper when we don't want to do it.  Sometimes the reason we procrastinate really is important.  A parent putting off the housework to play with their kids, a spouse setting aside work to enjoy date night, or a friend choosing to be a listening ear instead of finishing the to-do list are all examples of what I call good procrastination, or even better prioritizing.  And then there are the less great causes that lead us to procrastinate.  Skipping out on my household chores to watch a marathon of a reality show on Bravo or postponing writing my next post to shop for shoes are not exactly stellar excuses.   Insert your guilty pleasure above and you'll know that you too have made the not so great choice to put off something you needed to do for something you just wanted to do in the moment.  In most cases procrastination is relatively harmless, although it may cause laster inconveniences.  However I was reminded this Sunday of how it can be detrimental. 

My husband and I had the pleasure of visiting Lake Hills Church in Austin, TX while enjoying a weekend with family.  Lake Hills is led by Pastor Mac Richard whom I know from his very close relationship to my own pastor, so we knew we were in for a great message in a church that felt like a home away from home.  In my typical fashion I was taking notes in my journal (I've gone back to writing my notes by hand instead of typing into my phone.  I can still write faster than I can thumb-type) when in the middle of what was a very funny anecdote from Pastor Mac, I heard talking behind me.  Just as I was about to become annoyed at the distraction, I heard one of the voices call for someone to call 911.  At this point the service came to a halt as everyone realized we were in the middle of a medical emergency.  The amazing staff and volunteers of Lake Hills quickly took control of the situation and moved the gentleman in trouble out into the hallway to receive aid, while Pastor Mac led us in prayer and stayed poised as he segued us back into the message.  

My first reaction to all of this in my head was to marvel at the grace under pressure that Pastor Mac displayed as he navigated through an adrenaline inducing moment and managed to get back to his message.  As a speaker I know how a small distraction can throw off your rhythm. Yes, we can see you taking a nap, talking to your friend, and getting up to go to the bathroom when we are up there. This, however, had been no small distraction, but a full on crisis and Pastor Mac handled it compassionately and articulately. He took the opportunity to remind us how important it is that we prioritize the things that really matter in life.   Thankfully, we learned before leaving the service that the gentleman was in stable condition, but I could not help but think about how fragile life is.  Even as we go into church on a Sunday morning singing to God about this life on earth being temporary and our eternity being with Him in heaven, none of us walk in really believing that we could be taking our last breaths.  Yet,  every day that we live is a gift, and we have no idea how many more days we have left.  How differently would we live our lives if we thought about that more? What would we choose to prioritize and what would we put off? 

Today, I find myself evaluating my to do list with a different perspective.  What will I do today that will have a lasting impact?  It may be big or small, but each day I want to prioritize the things that matter, the things of God and not allow myself to procrastinate doing His work.  Whether spending time in prayer for a friend, studying another part of the Bible,  inviting someone to church, or helping someone in need, I don't want a day to go by without knowing that I have done something in Christ's name.  If I make these things a priority, then I won't have to worry about wasted days or regrettable procrastinations.  It really means using the old saying, but changing it a bit.  "Why put off 'til tomorrow, what you can do for Christ today?"  There are no excusable answers, to that question.