Before I got married, my TIVO was my boyfriend. Or at least, that is what I called him. He came into my life in 2007, and while he was limited in what he could do for me, when it came to knowing when my shows came on and recording them, he never failed me. He even suggested other shows he thought I would like, and made sure to capture anytime Denzel Washington was on TV either in a movie or on a morning talk show. Yes, for those of you who don't know, TIVO is a brand of DVR (digital video recorder). THE brand, if you ask me. I must confess, even in marriage, I still see my TIVO on the side. We don't spend as much time together as we did when I was single, but he has faithfully recorded for me nonetheless.
However, a few weeks ago, he let me down. Now, I know some of you have never found yourself attached to a television series at all, but many of us find ourselves completely addicted to one show or another. That show for me is "So You Think You Can Dance". A competition reality show, SYTYCD(it's right, you don't need to check it) brings me week after week of amazing choreography, great dancing, and entertaining judges, and I am a REAL fan. I vote. Weekly. From the beginning of the season. Ever since I let Travis Wall down in Season 3 and missed the finale competition night and failed to vote (this was pre-TIVO), I've made sure to never miss a finale night, and have assured my favorite a victory every year since,...until a couple of weeks ago, when for reasons I still don't quite understand, TIVO did not record the finale competition night. To say I was devastated is embarrassing since it is only a TV show, so let's just say I was quite disappointed and leave it at that. In fact, I was so upset, that refused to watch the finale result show for more than a week after it aired. I reminded myself that it is just a TV show, but in many ways, the season was ruined for me by not being able to participate in that final, crucial week.
Yes, I do realize that in the big scheme of life, this disappointment barely registers on the scale. It has not come close to being my greatest let down of this summer even, but my feelings and my response revealed to me on a small scale, how I deal with disappointment, and I realized I needed an attitude adjustment. You see, how we feel when life lets us down is not something we can choose, but how we respond to those feelings is. God expects us to feel disappointed, frustrated, angry, hurt, sad, or betrayed when these things happen, but He also expects us to respond in a way that reflects our faith in Him. To pout, whine, complain, or do any other adult equivalent of taking your ball and going home is to behave in a manner that does not bring glory to our God.
This week I faced a much greater disappointment in my life than missing a TV episode. In the first moments of that disappointment I found myself praying. I began asking God for comfort, strength, and a right reaction. He brought two verses to my mind as an answer to that prayer:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
"Know that the Lord is God! He made us and we are His." Psalm 100:3
These are two verses that I have known for a long time, but I had never put them together like this before. They reminded me that God is God and I am not. He knows what is best for me because He created me. His timing and His plan for my life are perfect, and I can not question that because I am the creation, not the creator. All I need to do is trust Him and not try to out think or out plan Him. In essence, the responsibility of the plan of my life is on Him; the responsibility of how I live that life He plans is on me. As you face disappointments in your life, don't do the adult equivalent of stomping off to your room and slamming the door. Choose to respond in a way that shows you belong to Christ. Be joyful and loving, praise God with true enthusiasm, press on and continue to grow in Him, and be thankful for what you do have in your life. Let your response show that you know this current disappointment is just a temporary setback in a life that is committed to an eternal, faithful, and loving God.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
5 Shoes I Can't Live Without
I love shoes. I mean I really loooove shoes. I can try on shoes all day, and if God had not taught me to be disciplined with my money (and married me to my husband) I would buy a new pair of shoes weekly. Daily, if I thought I could afford it. I often say to my husband when he looks perplexed over what he sees as "another" pair of brown shoes, you can never really have all the shoes you want. However, I do feel there are 5 essential pairs of shoes that you need. Before you get to the list, I want to say right now, functional athletic sneakers are not going to be found on this list. I know they are a necessity, but like flip flops, I don't really think of them as shoes in the same way I don't think of socks as clothes. They are true necessities, so don't look for them on this list.
1. Black Heels:
You may have heard about the LBD (little black dress) that every woman should have. I believe in the LBH -- little black heels. A great pair of black heels that can be worn with everything from your jeans to your favorite date night dress. These should be heels with enough height to give you some sass, but not so high that you have to valet everywhere you go. If you live in a part of the nation where the weather goes from hot to very cold, you may need a summer pair and a winter pair. I live in Texas so I have one peep-toe pair that I can wear year-round.
2. Tall Boots:
I fell in love with the tall boot when I was a toddler. My mom had these great boots she used to tuck her jeans into in the '70's that defined womanhood for me. When I was fifteen I got my first pair of knee-high boots in black suede, and I wept. I'm not kidding. A great pair of tall boots in black, brown, or grey (or all three) can keep you warm in a skirt, show off your legs in leggings, or class up your skinny jeans!
3. Neutral Wedge:
Now that I'm in my thirties, I find that I can't rock my painful heels with as much glee as I could in my twenties, so my appreciation for the wedge has grown tremendously. A great wedge in a neutral tone can be the perfect shoes to take on a trip when luggage space is limited. The right pair can go causal or dress up an outfit and will keep you from weeping as you hobble home at the end of a long work day.
4. Pop of Color:
I remember talking to one of my close friends a while back and having her tell me that all her shoes were brown, black or grey. She didn't own a single pair of shoes in a bright color. I realized in that moment that I had failed her as a friend. A pop of color shoe is like a secret weapon. Pick your favorite color be it hot pink, lipstick red, electric blue, sunny yellow, or leprechaun green ( yes I made that one up). Don't obsess over what you have that will match them, because that is not the goal. You'll be shocked at how one pair of shoes can completely change your black dress or spice up your white button down and jeans. I'm talking about instant style sass in a box!
5. Sparkly Heels:
I know some of you read sparkly and cringe, but before you shut me down hear me out. Sparkly doesn't have to be sequins and glitter. A high sheen patent leather will do, but have at least one pair of shoes that dazzle when the light hits them. I like to get mine in a soft color so the sparkle is what stands out. Rock them with a great top and muted slacks or jeans. Whip them out for your next wedding or to ring in the new year. I like to wear them on days when I feel blue as a pick me up. Every time I look down at my feet I smile!
There's my list. Feel free to comment, agree, or disagree. Then head to DSW and earn some Rewards points!
1. Black Heels:
You may have heard about the LBD (little black dress) that every woman should have. I believe in the LBH -- little black heels. A great pair of black heels that can be worn with everything from your jeans to your favorite date night dress. These should be heels with enough height to give you some sass, but not so high that you have to valet everywhere you go. If you live in a part of the nation where the weather goes from hot to very cold, you may need a summer pair and a winter pair. I live in Texas so I have one peep-toe pair that I can wear year-round.
2. Tall Boots:
I fell in love with the tall boot when I was a toddler. My mom had these great boots she used to tuck her jeans into in the '70's that defined womanhood for me. When I was fifteen I got my first pair of knee-high boots in black suede, and I wept. I'm not kidding. A great pair of tall boots in black, brown, or grey (or all three) can keep you warm in a skirt, show off your legs in leggings, or class up your skinny jeans!
3. Neutral Wedge:
Now that I'm in my thirties, I find that I can't rock my painful heels with as much glee as I could in my twenties, so my appreciation for the wedge has grown tremendously. A great wedge in a neutral tone can be the perfect shoes to take on a trip when luggage space is limited. The right pair can go causal or dress up an outfit and will keep you from weeping as you hobble home at the end of a long work day.
4. Pop of Color:
I remember talking to one of my close friends a while back and having her tell me that all her shoes were brown, black or grey. She didn't own a single pair of shoes in a bright color. I realized in that moment that I had failed her as a friend. A pop of color shoe is like a secret weapon. Pick your favorite color be it hot pink, lipstick red, electric blue, sunny yellow, or leprechaun green ( yes I made that one up). Don't obsess over what you have that will match them, because that is not the goal. You'll be shocked at how one pair of shoes can completely change your black dress or spice up your white button down and jeans. I'm talking about instant style sass in a box!
5. Sparkly Heels:
I know some of you read sparkly and cringe, but before you shut me down hear me out. Sparkly doesn't have to be sequins and glitter. A high sheen patent leather will do, but have at least one pair of shoes that dazzle when the light hits them. I like to get mine in a soft color so the sparkle is what stands out. Rock them with a great top and muted slacks or jeans. Whip them out for your next wedding or to ring in the new year. I like to wear them on days when I feel blue as a pick me up. Every time I look down at my feet I smile!
There's my list. Feel free to comment, agree, or disagree. Then head to DSW and earn some Rewards points!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
So, What's This Blog About Anyway?
There is an inevitable day in every blogger's life where we have to ask the question: Why on earth am I blogging. Let's face it, there are a LOT of blogs out there, and it is easy to believe that you have nothing new to contribute. We have all had "deep" thoughts that later, after a good night's sleep or a strong dose of caffeine, revealed themselves to be nonsensical ramblings. Knowing this, I decided to take a moment and ask myself what my blog is all about.
My answer was pretty simple, once I thought about it. I have a unique story. I'm not saying no one has ever done any of the things I've done or experienced any of the things I've experienced. However, the complete story that is my life is mine alone. The home I grew up in, the parents that raised me, the places I've been, the education I've received, the MANY mistakes I've made along the way all combine and result in a life that is unique. That means my perspective is unique, and my voice is unique. God created each of us to be unique individuals with unique purpose in His kingdom. The things God puts on my heart to work on and share can only come from me in this particular way.
I don't for a moment believe that I'm discovering or revealing something new about Christ or living the Christian life. That would be foolishly arrogant of me. What I do believe is that God is continuously teaching and growing me through various life experiences, trials, tests, and relationships. It is that ongoing journey that I want to share in my blog in the hopes that someone out there can benefit from some of my lessons and failures. The Bible is full of stories of people who were struggling and growing, and we learn from them. In the same way, I believe God wanted us to have community in the Christian world so we could learn from each other, encourage each other, hold each other accountable, and love on each other as we all work together to finish the race.
So what is my blog about?
An ordinary woman living real life, powered by an extraordinary God, sharing what I learn with others who want to please God daily. Walk, run, and stumble along with me as we attempt together to be Christians and be real in our everyday lives at work, at school, at home, and everywhere else we go!
My answer was pretty simple, once I thought about it. I have a unique story. I'm not saying no one has ever done any of the things I've done or experienced any of the things I've experienced. However, the complete story that is my life is mine alone. The home I grew up in, the parents that raised me, the places I've been, the education I've received, the MANY mistakes I've made along the way all combine and result in a life that is unique. That means my perspective is unique, and my voice is unique. God created each of us to be unique individuals with unique purpose in His kingdom. The things God puts on my heart to work on and share can only come from me in this particular way.
I don't for a moment believe that I'm discovering or revealing something new about Christ or living the Christian life. That would be foolishly arrogant of me. What I do believe is that God is continuously teaching and growing me through various life experiences, trials, tests, and relationships. It is that ongoing journey that I want to share in my blog in the hopes that someone out there can benefit from some of my lessons and failures. The Bible is full of stories of people who were struggling and growing, and we learn from them. In the same way, I believe God wanted us to have community in the Christian world so we could learn from each other, encourage each other, hold each other accountable, and love on each other as we all work together to finish the race.
So what is my blog about?
An ordinary woman living real life, powered by an extraordinary God, sharing what I learn with others who want to please God daily. Walk, run, and stumble along with me as we attempt together to be Christians and be real in our everyday lives at work, at school, at home, and everywhere else we go!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Ask for Help. I Dare You.
"I can do it by myself!" Find just about any two-year-old anywhere in the nation, and you're likely to hear this proudly and loudly declared as they attempt to put on a shirt or open a container. With no little irony, such phrases are often followed by an exaggerated struggle, lots of grunting, and eventual tears as things don't quite work out. I don't have my own little person, but I have had the pleasure of observing this phenomenon occur with many of my friends' children. It is always equally fascinating and amusing to me. The bold determination for independence, the complete inability to see their own limitations, the utter despair and surprise when failure knocks them back never cease to amaze and entertain me. I keep thinking they shouldn't be surprised when it happens to them over and over, and yet they are. I keep thinking they will eventually realize the value of receiving help when it is really needed, but they just don't. I then think that someday, they will grow older and wiser and realize how much easier life is when we ask for help....
....And then I find myself laughing at my own joke, because I am far from the age of two, yet I am guilty of the same behavior at times. I like to boldly declare that "I can do it myself" when it comes to handling challenges and obstacles in my life. If you are watching, you might spot me struggling to work through a situation, with lots of grunting in the form of complaints and "why me's", and eventual tears when things just don't seem to work out. I'm less amused and fascinated because now it is happening to me, but at least I'm beginning to recognize the same pattern follows us into our adult years. Whether the reason is the same stubbornness that plagued us when we were two, or the superhuman mindset that many of us foolishly take on as we grow up, the result is the same. We are standing around struggling through our difficulties when we are surrounded by people ready to lend us a helping hand.
At my church, one of my volunteer roles is being a part of the prayer team. At the end of each service members of the prayer team stand in front of the stage so that anyone who needs prayer can come forward and ask for it. Time after time, someone will come to me in that moment and start by saying, "I don't really like to ask for help, but..." or "I don't usually ask for help, but...." I want to say back to them, "Why on earth not?", but I already know the answer. Pride. Pride is what keeps us from admitting we need help. We are too proud to admit we can't do it on our own. We are too proud to believe that someone else can do something we can't. We are too proud to say out loud that something is wrong in our work life, our marriage, our dating relationship, or our family. We don't think anyone could possibly care about us, which is a form of pride: the self-focused, pity party pride. In the time when we most need help, our pride shuts us down. The enemy loves how susceptible we are to our pride and feeds us more lies to keep us from asking for help. You may have heard the proverb, "Pride goes before the fall". I like The Message version of this verse:
"First pride, then the crash--the bigger the ego, the harder the fall."
Proverbs 16:18 (The Message)
So what are we to do? Humble ourselves enough to ask for help. Ouch. Yes, I know. It hurts me as much to write it as it does you to read it, but it is true. In every situation where I have tried to solve a problem or overcome an obstacle on my own, I have failed. My greatest successes have come when I have finally realized I needed help, and asked for it. Start with God. He has told us time in again in Scripture that we have power in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in us to give us power. He is called our Helper because God knows we need His help! No one is more aware of our weaknesses than God is, because he intentionally gave them to us. He created us to have weaknesses so that we would depend on Him all the more.
"But he[Christ] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
We also have our fellow believers. If you do not have a group of friends who believe in Christ and read his Word and can give you sound, biblical advice (not just their opinions or their own stories), then you need to get some NOW! I can not begin to tell you how many times I have taken my junk and drama to my friends and had them respond with truth and scripture that served to guide me through my situation. These are the same friends that I can talk with about "So You Think You Can Dance" or "Once Upon a Time". These are the same friends that go with me to Fashions Night Out and ooh and aah with me over sheer knee high socks with skirts and men's style blazers for women. These are the same friends that let me try on their Louboutin shoes and give me great recipes for polenta. My point being, your believing friends can still be fun and fabulous, so long as they revolve their lives around the Bible. Just make sure they are friends who speak the truth in love, and tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
The greatest lie we can believe is to think that everyone else has it together and is getting through on their own. That is simply not true. No one has it all together, and no one is getting through their stuff alone. So this week, I want to encourage you to ask for help. Pray to God for help. Pray and ask for better friends in your life if you don't have them. If you have some potential friends, ask them to hang out so you guys can get closer, then ask them for help. And since those of you struggling with this concept are like me and struggle with pride, let me appeal to you in a way to which your pride won't help but respond. Ask for help; I dare you!
....And then I find myself laughing at my own joke, because I am far from the age of two, yet I am guilty of the same behavior at times. I like to boldly declare that "I can do it myself" when it comes to handling challenges and obstacles in my life. If you are watching, you might spot me struggling to work through a situation, with lots of grunting in the form of complaints and "why me's", and eventual tears when things just don't seem to work out. I'm less amused and fascinated because now it is happening to me, but at least I'm beginning to recognize the same pattern follows us into our adult years. Whether the reason is the same stubbornness that plagued us when we were two, or the superhuman mindset that many of us foolishly take on as we grow up, the result is the same. We are standing around struggling through our difficulties when we are surrounded by people ready to lend us a helping hand.
At my church, one of my volunteer roles is being a part of the prayer team. At the end of each service members of the prayer team stand in front of the stage so that anyone who needs prayer can come forward and ask for it. Time after time, someone will come to me in that moment and start by saying, "I don't really like to ask for help, but..." or "I don't usually ask for help, but...." I want to say back to them, "Why on earth not?", but I already know the answer. Pride. Pride is what keeps us from admitting we need help. We are too proud to admit we can't do it on our own. We are too proud to believe that someone else can do something we can't. We are too proud to say out loud that something is wrong in our work life, our marriage, our dating relationship, or our family. We don't think anyone could possibly care about us, which is a form of pride: the self-focused, pity party pride. In the time when we most need help, our pride shuts us down. The enemy loves how susceptible we are to our pride and feeds us more lies to keep us from asking for help. You may have heard the proverb, "Pride goes before the fall". I like The Message version of this verse:
"First pride, then the crash--the bigger the ego, the harder the fall."
Proverbs 16:18 (The Message)
So what are we to do? Humble ourselves enough to ask for help. Ouch. Yes, I know. It hurts me as much to write it as it does you to read it, but it is true. In every situation where I have tried to solve a problem or overcome an obstacle on my own, I have failed. My greatest successes have come when I have finally realized I needed help, and asked for it. Start with God. He has told us time in again in Scripture that we have power in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in us to give us power. He is called our Helper because God knows we need His help! No one is more aware of our weaknesses than God is, because he intentionally gave them to us. He created us to have weaknesses so that we would depend on Him all the more.
"But he[Christ] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
We also have our fellow believers. If you do not have a group of friends who believe in Christ and read his Word and can give you sound, biblical advice (not just their opinions or their own stories), then you need to get some NOW! I can not begin to tell you how many times I have taken my junk and drama to my friends and had them respond with truth and scripture that served to guide me through my situation. These are the same friends that I can talk with about "So You Think You Can Dance" or "Once Upon a Time". These are the same friends that go with me to Fashions Night Out and ooh and aah with me over sheer knee high socks with skirts and men's style blazers for women. These are the same friends that let me try on their Louboutin shoes and give me great recipes for polenta. My point being, your believing friends can still be fun and fabulous, so long as they revolve their lives around the Bible. Just make sure they are friends who speak the truth in love, and tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
The greatest lie we can believe is to think that everyone else has it together and is getting through on their own. That is simply not true. No one has it all together, and no one is getting through their stuff alone. So this week, I want to encourage you to ask for help. Pray to God for help. Pray and ask for better friends in your life if you don't have them. If you have some potential friends, ask them to hang out so you guys can get closer, then ask them for help. And since those of you struggling with this concept are like me and struggle with pride, let me appeal to you in a way to which your pride won't help but respond. Ask for help; I dare you!
Friday, September 14, 2012
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