Just a Little More Grace

Last week, my husband came home just as I was putting each of my two children in the corner.  Yes, we're old school and use "the corner". Time out is what happens when the quarterback can't get the ball hiked in time or when the team down by two points manages to steal the ball at half court with 2.8 seconds left on the clock.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry about it and keep sending your kids to time out.)  But, I digress.  My husband literally opened the door from the garage as I was telling the 3 year-old to stand in the corner and putting the 1 year-old in the corner (he does not yet go willingly).  

What had they done, you ask?  Does it really matter? NO!  I can assure you, they're actions warranted the previously prescribed discipline.  In fact this was one in a series of insane toddler acts that had occurred that particular day.  There seems to be some sort of schedule that only children know about that dictates one day a quarter when they will do every wrong thing they can possibly do to disobey and wreak general havoc in a concerted effort to break their mother (I'm not saying it doesn't happen to fathers. I just haven't witnessed it yet).  This had been one of those days.  If there were frequent flyer miles for going to the corner, they would have earned a trip to Disney World that day.  All treats of the cookie & chocolate milk variety had been lost.  Episodes of Daniel Tiger had been erased.  I was just about ready to start throwing beloved toys out the window, when my hero came home from work and saved me.  

As the kids stood/sat/squirmed/wiggled/whined in the corner, I whispered the horrific play-by-play of my day to my husband.  Being the incredible man that he is, he took it all in and then said, "why don't you go to our room and take a few minutes."  I did. I stumbled blindly past the two-who-shall-not-be-named and fell onto my bed with my eyes closed. I didn't sleep. I just tried to breath and began to create in my mind the mom-of-toddlers version of a Psalm complete with "how long, oh Lord" and "remember me".  

It was in that precious 25 minutes of silence and alone time that God revealed to me, "This is why I call you all my children."  Yep. Right there in my moment of much needed recovery from parenting, God decided to point out to me that I was experiencing just a fraction of what He has been dealing with SINCE HE MADE MAN!  How on earth has He not destroyed us all already? Oh yeah. He's God. He's not on earth.  He's perfectly patient and loves us enough to extend grace through His son, Jesus Christ. 

"Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  

But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ 

even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." 

Ephesians 2:3b-5 (NIV)

It was with this thought in mind, that I was able to roll limply off the bed and venture back into the fray with my children, and when I did, I was looking at them with different eyes.  God had imparted upon me in those few minutes, just a little more grace to extend to my children.  That grace pushed the frustration and irritations of that day to the back and brought my immense love and adoration for my babies to the forefront.  Before they went to bed that night, I found myself curled up with both of them in my bed reading books and giggling as we snuggled together.  Don't get me wrong; right after that I was happy to put them to bed in their room and firmly close the door for the night, but instead of feeling exhausted and annoyed, I was grateful for the gift of my kids...and exhausted.  

I know a lot of moms will read this and relate to what I'm saying, and I hope it encourages you to find a way to extend just a little more grace even on the worst days with your kids whether they are toddlers or teenagers. However, I think this applies to more than motherhood.  With every blessing from God, there are challenges.  If you get the job you've been praying for there will likely be a co-worker or client that needs just a little more grace.  When you get the promotion you've been waiting for, there will be an employee or boss that requires you to extend just a little more grace.   When you finally get that husband you've been waiting for, however great and godly you may both be, I can guarantee you will need to find just a little more grace to extend to him at times.  

In an imperfect world filled with imperfect people, ourselves included, we will always need to both receive and extend just a little more grace.  We'll need to be reminded that we have to love on people even when they aren't lovable.  We'll have to be forgiving of those that aren't at all apologetic.  We'll have to offer compassion even when we are met with indifference.  We have to do these things because we are children of the Most High God. We are His ambassadors on this earth.  We represent Christ, so we must represent His grace, even when it is the last thing we want to do.  

"Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us. 

For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people."  

1 Peter 2:12, 15

This is not easy.  I repeat.  THIS IS NOT EASY!  I mean, I love my husband and children more than any other people on this planet, and I have to pray for the Holy Spirit to help me extend just a little more grace in my own home.  Passing on that grace to the obnoxious stranger cutting me off in traffic or anonymous hater on social media can only happen when I'm submitted to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to control my responses. 

My best wisdom on how to do this is to pray daily, read and memorize Scripture, and plan how you need to respond rather than allowing yourself to react.  That means you have to give thought to how you will deal with difficult people in your life ahead of time. You can't wait until the moment, because you will react--that means you will lead with emotion and that is always dangerous. Plan ahead, so you can lead with Truth.  You know what your kids do, so plan how you want to respond the next time they do it.  You know how that co-worker is going to behave in the meeting tomorrow; take some time tonight to pray and plan your response.  If you have a plan and they act a fool, you're ready to respond well.  Hopefully, you won't have to put your response into play everyday, but you should be ready every day to represent God well.  After all, He extends just a little more grace to you every day. I'm just sayin'. 

Your Father Has Big Shoulders

I want to take just a moment to talk to my faithful, believing, single sisters out there.  Let's be real for just a moment.  I know you love Jesus.  I know you trust God and want His perfect will for your life. I know you are submitted to the Holy Spirit in your daily life. I see you serving in the church, faithfully attending worship and Bible study.  I see you going on trips with the youth, rocking babies in the nursery, and serving coffee on Sunday morning.  I can almost read your journal where you write out the desires of your heart to God, praying and trusting that He will answer them.  I see you squealing for that girl who just got engaged in genuine excitement for her.  I hear you cheering her on in your role as bridesmaid yet again as she gets buried in the chaos of wedding planning.  And I see you sitting at home alone at night, and I know.

I know that you are tired of waiting. I know that you feel forgotten. I know that you are angry, frustrated, hurt, lonely, sick and tired of everyone around you finding their someone while you are still left waiting. I know because I was you for a long time.  I was, and I have the journals to prove it, journals in which I lamented and raged in almost illegible scrawl to my God. 

WHERE IS HE!?!  

SHE'S A BRAND NEW CHRISTIAN AND A MONTH LATER SHE GETS THE GUY THAT I'VE BEEN SERVING FAITHFULLY WITH FOR THE LAST YEAR!?!  

SERIOUSLY, JESUS!? SHE'S 22!!!  REALLY?!?!?!?! 

I'M LIVING THE WAY YOU'VE INSTRUCTED ME TO LIVE. 

I'M DOING WHAT YOU'VE CALLED ME TO DO.  

WHERE. IS. MY. HUSBAND?!

I get it, and today I just want to tell you, it's okay to feel what you are feeling.  Your heavenly Father has really big shoulders.  It's okay to pray it all to Him.  He can handle the tears, the wailing, the snot, the despair, because He is your Father, He loves you, and He has really big shoulders.   In fact, He is the one to whom you should take all of those feelings and thoughts, fears and doubts.  He is the only one who can truly handle them all.  

I remember thinking at one point that I wasn't supposed to voice my feelings of  frustration brought on by my singleness to God.  I thought that it somehow meant I wasn't trusting Him for my husband.  In fact, I think it means the very opposite.  There is no one better to take those fears to than the sovereign Lord. Only He can offer you comfort, because only He can see the big picture of your life. Every time I took those feelings to Him, after the waterfall of tears was depleted, He would reveal to me in the next hour or day or week, some new thing that brought me comfort or hope or joy.  He did it in different ways each time, but the most important thing is that He heard my cries and offered me comfort. 

Sister, I know that you are doing your best to show the world your faith and trust in God, and I don't just believe that is admirable, I believe it is right.  As believers, we walk in hope and faith and need to reflect that to the world.  However, I don't think you're not allowed to be lonely and hurt and long for more.  I know from my own experience that God will offer you His big shoulder and let you cry on it as long as you need. You can't hide your hurt from Him anyway, and when you bring it to Him you are affirming that you know only He can meet your need; you are strengthening your faith in Him.

My point in this is to offer you a hand and encouragement from a sister who has walked the path and felt the pain of singleness. I have single friends in my life in their 20s, 30s, and 40s all currently walking the path and feeling the pain. I pray for them regularly, and I ache for them.  I will be praying for every one of you that reads these words.  My prayer is that God will give you the desire of your heart, that you will continue to wait on His perfect will for your life, and that you will take your pain to Him so He can offer you the solace that can only come from Him in the meantime. 

I also offer you these words from His Word as you wait.  Let them bring you comfort and hope. Let  them encourage you from day to day. Let them remind you that your Father has big shoulders!

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." Psalm 119:28

"I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Psalm 120:1

"Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely." Psalm 139:4

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." Psalm 145:18-19

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight."  Psalm 119: 35

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

Looking for A New Thing

In these first days of the new year, I have been meditating on and (slowly) memorizing the verse from Isaiah 43:19,  

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." 

In its context, the verse is a promise to the Israelites who were in captivity in Babylon. God was letting them know that He was already preparing the way for them to leave Babylon and return to their land.  It is also a foreshadowing to the promise of the coming Savior.  Jesus coming to earth to live as a man, die on the cross, and come back to life three days later to pay the price for the sins of all mankind and give eternal life to believers was most definitely a new thing that God was going to do.  

I love this glimpse of the New Testament deep in the Old Testament.  It reminds me of my much less significant love of movies trailers. I love getting that first glimpse of a film that I'm eagerly anticipating.  The fast paced clips thrown together with just the right music and text on screen or magical voice over give me a little thrill, especially when it is a film I want to see.  I probably watched the first trailer for "The Force Awakens" dozens of times in that first week it was released.  I clapped and cheered out loud when I first saw the trailer for the live-action "Beauty and the Beast".   Even though those one or two minute clips leave me with more questions than answers and a whole lot of wait-and-see vibes, I just like knowing that something is coming!  

As I've been reading this verse over and over, I've realized the concept of the movie trailer is biblical. Stay with me here.  God is all about promises for the future, prophecy that reveals elements without giving away all the details, and building anticipation for what is to come.  Prophecy gives us hope for the future, an opportunity to live out our daily lives with faith, and the assurance that God is in complete control of everything from the writing of the story and casting to the the production and final release date! 

As we step into 2017, I hope that we are all doing so anticipating that no matter what our season of life may be, God is going to do a new thing in this coming year.  If you don't believe that God is going to do anything new in your life this year, I'm hear to tell you that you are WRONG!   In John 5:17, Jesus tells us, "My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working."  God has not stopped working in your life or mine.  What's that? You say you don't see Him working? Well then, I'd be willing to bet you're not looking in the right place.  

See, too often we accuse God of being absent, silent, or inactive in our lives when the truth is we are unhappy with one particular area of our life that is not going the way we want it. It's like my almost 2 year-old looking for a toy.  He'll stand in one spot, in all of his cuteness, and move his head all around looking for the toy that is directly behind him.  Even though I'll point to the spot behind him and tell him to turn around, he'll keep looking in the one direction he's facing because that's where he thinks the toy should be.  Is it possible you're missing what God is doing in a particular aspect of your life because you are hyper focused in another direction?  

I know I was guilty of this for a season when I was desperate for a child.  I was so busy praying for and vigilantly watching for a healthy pregnancy, that I almost missed the incredible work God was doing in my marriage. It was amazing when I turned around one day and realized God had been doing a new thing in our relationship that I had prayed for long before.  Thankfully, I didn't completely miss it! There was nothing wrong with me praying for a child, but it was dangerous to be come to focused on that one desire, that I missed the other things God was doing and wanted me to be doing in my life during that season. 

I don't know what the new thing in your life will be, but I know it is vital that you turn 360 degrees and look for it!  He may have actually started it in 2016 and is saying to you, "do you not perceive it!?"  Let's step into the new year anticipating that God is already at work in our lives.  Let's have eyes open to perceive that work He is doing.  Let's be ready to set aside our own desires to embrace His will for our lives.  I promise you will never regret receiving the blessings that God has chosen to give you!