Your Father Has Big Shoulders

I want to take just a moment to talk to my faithful, believing, single sisters out there.  Let's be real for just a moment.  I know you love Jesus.  I know you trust God and want His perfect will for your life. I know you are submitted to the Holy Spirit in your daily life. I see you serving in the church, faithfully attending worship and Bible study.  I see you going on trips with the youth, rocking babies in the nursery, and serving coffee on Sunday morning.  I can almost read your journal where you write out the desires of your heart to God, praying and trusting that He will answer them.  I see you squealing for that girl who just got engaged in genuine excitement for her.  I hear you cheering her on in your role as bridesmaid yet again as she gets buried in the chaos of wedding planning.  And I see you sitting at home alone at night, and I know.

I know that you are tired of waiting. I know that you feel forgotten. I know that you are angry, frustrated, hurt, lonely, sick and tired of everyone around you finding their someone while you are still left waiting. I know because I was you for a long time.  I was, and I have the journals to prove it, journals in which I lamented and raged in almost illegible scrawl to my God. 

WHERE IS HE!?!  

SHE'S A BRAND NEW CHRISTIAN AND A MONTH LATER SHE GETS THE GUY THAT I'VE BEEN SERVING FAITHFULLY WITH FOR THE LAST YEAR!?!  

SERIOUSLY, JESUS!? SHE'S 22!!!  REALLY?!?!?!?! 

I'M LIVING THE WAY YOU'VE INSTRUCTED ME TO LIVE. 

I'M DOING WHAT YOU'VE CALLED ME TO DO.  

WHERE. IS. MY. HUSBAND?!

I get it, and today I just want to tell you, it's okay to feel what you are feeling.  Your heavenly Father has really big shoulders.  It's okay to pray it all to Him.  He can handle the tears, the wailing, the snot, the despair, because He is your Father, He loves you, and He has really big shoulders.   In fact, He is the one to whom you should take all of those feelings and thoughts, fears and doubts.  He is the only one who can truly handle them all.  

I remember thinking at one point that I wasn't supposed to voice my feelings of  frustration brought on by my singleness to God.  I thought that it somehow meant I wasn't trusting Him for my husband.  In fact, I think it means the very opposite.  There is no one better to take those fears to than the sovereign Lord. Only He can offer you comfort, because only He can see the big picture of your life. Every time I took those feelings to Him, after the waterfall of tears was depleted, He would reveal to me in the next hour or day or week, some new thing that brought me comfort or hope or joy.  He did it in different ways each time, but the most important thing is that He heard my cries and offered me comfort. 

Sister, I know that you are doing your best to show the world your faith and trust in God, and I don't just believe that is admirable, I believe it is right.  As believers, we walk in hope and faith and need to reflect that to the world.  However, I don't think you're not allowed to be lonely and hurt and long for more.  I know from my own experience that God will offer you His big shoulder and let you cry on it as long as you need. You can't hide your hurt from Him anyway, and when you bring it to Him you are affirming that you know only He can meet your need; you are strengthening your faith in Him.

My point in this is to offer you a hand and encouragement from a sister who has walked the path and felt the pain of singleness. I have single friends in my life in their 20s, 30s, and 40s all currently walking the path and feeling the pain. I pray for them regularly, and I ache for them.  I will be praying for every one of you that reads these words.  My prayer is that God will give you the desire of your heart, that you will continue to wait on His perfect will for your life, and that you will take your pain to Him so He can offer you the solace that can only come from Him in the meantime. 

I also offer you these words from His Word as you wait.  Let them bring you comfort and hope. Let  them encourage you from day to day. Let them remind you that your Father has big shoulders!

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." Psalm 119:28

"I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Psalm 120:1

"Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely." Psalm 139:4

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." Psalm 145:18-19

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight."  Psalm 119: 35

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1