What is Your "Right Now"?

My twenty year high school reunion is next weekend and all of the old old photos and videos being posted on our Facebook site has started a montage of memories playing in my head. One of those memories, embarrassing though it may be, is of seeing what I then thought was the funniest movie ever, Wayne's World with my friends several times.  Now, for those of you too young to remember the early 90's, Wayne's World started out as a skit on Saturday Night Live (yes, it was on WAY back then) and became so popular that it was turned into a movie.  It was all about two best friends who were completely into rock and roll, had no jobs, and decided to produce their own public access talk show.  We laughed at their ridiculous catch phrases and general lack of ambition in life, and yet found them endearing enough to cheer for them along the way.  One particular moment in the movie that was a favorite of mine, was when Wayne was staring through a shop window at a guitar that he desperately wanted, and his friend Garth yelled at him from the car "Stop torturing yourself man, you'll never afford it.  Live in the now!".  I threw in the clip for those of you who remember 1992 and for those of you who want to see what 1992 looked like.  

That line, "live in the now" is one of those phrases that I continued to use long after I forgot where it came from, and while it was written for comedic effect in a movie that should have only appealed to 13-18 year old boys (what does that say about me), I find it to be incredibly profound and relevant.  So many of us struggle to do just that: live in the now.  We dream and wish for future things and spend all of our "right now" waiting for our "not yet".  In doing so, we miss out on what God has put directly in front of us.  Whether you are looking ahead to a future career, future spouse, future family or anything else in the future, you have to be careful not to miss the "right now" in your life.  Too often we make decisions based on what might be instead of on what is right now.  Why do we do this?  I blame Jeremiah 29:11.  Actually, I blame the way people use Jeremiah 29:11 out of context like a fortune cookie or a Magic 8-Ball.   Christians love this verse.  You can find it on magnets, journals, bookmarks, t-shirts, wall plaques, and tattoos all around.  Now don't get me wrong, this is a great verse.  In fact, when I moved to Dallas to go to seminary and pursue full time ministry, I took this verse with me as my motivational verse, and with good reason.  This verse is a beautiful picture of God's love for us and the fact that He has a perfect will and purpose for our lives. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

However, most people fail to read this verse in context and miss the whole message.  You see, these words are spoken by the prophet Jeremiah to the Israelites who were living in exile in Babylon, instead of in their home of Jerusalem.  Basically, a foreign king had come in, taken over their land and took a lot of the key leaders back to his main city where he could separate them from the rest of their people and keep them from plotting to rebel against him.  God sent a message to those people through Jeremiah, because He wanted to encourage them, but He also wanted to instruct them on how to handle the right now.  In verse 11, He is offering encouragement; he reassures them that He has a plan and it is good.  This is great news as they all want to get back home and get back to being under their own leadership.   However, if you start reading this chapter at the beginning you will see that this message from God started with the instructions to settle in, build houses, plant crops and have babies because they are going to be in Babylon for 70 years!  While, God had a great plan and future for their people that would mean bringing them back home, He did not plan on doing any of that for another 70 years.  

As believers, it is vitally important that we trust God with our future and hope for what is to come, but a part of that trust is living in our "right now".  Too often, we put things on hold because we are waiting for that promised future and are missing the "right now" He has given us. That means if your "right now" is being a 17 year-old girl, then be the best 17 year-old girl you can be for Christ!  I met an amazing high school senior last week who is living her "right now" by starting a ministry for the other high school girls, their moms and the female faculty of her school.  I was so excited to see that she had taken an idea and not put it on the shelf for some future date, but was making it happen right now.   If you are a single woman in your 20's or 30's, God has something for you to do right now that you won't be able to do once you get married.  Sure, He has a future and a hope for your someday married life, but if that is all you are focused on, you're missing what He has for you right now.  Married ladies, the same thing goes for you.  Whether you are waiting for children, waiting for your small children to grow up, waiting for your teenage children to get out, or waiting for your marriage to get better, I guarantee that God has something for you to do RIGHT NOW!  Yes, that "right now" may look different than that someday, but that is the point.  Ecclesiastes 3 tells us "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."   That means there is something for the season you are in right now. 

I hope you understand that my point in all of this is not to tell you to stop dreaming, praying, or hoping for the God-given desires of your heart.  I certainly have not stopped doing that, but I have started looking at what is right in front of me and making decisions and plans based on the season God has me in right now.  I encourage you to do the same, or as my old friend Garth would say, "Live in the now!!"

Just Forgive Already

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of teaching two app sessions at the Relationology Conference at Fellowship Church.   I taught a session on single  life with one of the pastors on staff, and my former co-worker, Ken Kalloor.  The other session I taught was on the subject of forgiveness in relationships.   It is a subject that I am VERY familiar with, because it is something I have to do over and over again.  I thought I would share some of what I taught and what the Bible has to say about forgiveness because forgiving others is something we all struggle to do.

I mean, let's be honest.  We don't ever want to forgive someone. We are much more comfortable holding our grudge and feeling wronged (which makes us right), than we are forgiving others and releasing them from any debt, be it tangible or intangible.  We want what is due to us, a heartfelt apology.  Actually, what I really want is for the person that has hurt me to come crawling to me on their hands and knees, weeping and tearing at their clothes as they confess (in iambic pentameter) the wrong that they have done and beg for my mercy.  Whoa, now that is a scary insight to my selfish and somewhat Shakespeare influenced brain.  

But what we want, and what God wants from us are not always the same thing.  In this case they are pretty much polar opposites.  God wants us to forgive the undeserving, to show mercy to those that have shown us no mercy, and to offer grace to the graceless. Why?  Because that is exactly what He has done for us. 


"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."  Matthew 6:14-15

God forgave us even though we did not deserve it.  He forgave us, long before we asked for His forgiveness.  He forgave us completely and absolutely without holding it over our heads or making us beg Him for it.  As His children, we must model ourselves after Him.  The fact of the matter is, when you withhold forgiveness from others, you withhold peace and joy from yourself.  We hinder our relationship with God when we refuse to forgive others. He is basically looking at us in those moments and saying, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! AFTER ALL YOU HAVE DONE THAT I HAVE FORGIVEN?! REALLY!?" If you have ever struggled to truly feel forgiven and to make peace with your past sins, I would be willing to bet (if I weren't too cheap to do so) that you are harboring un-forgiveness towards someone else in your life.  You are lacking the peace and joy you desire, because you are dwelling on the anger and bitterness you need to release.  And you know what, the person you won't forgive is probably living life happy as a clam, blissfully unaware of your issues.  The weight you are carrying by not forgiving others is only holding you down, not them. 

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:12-14


I encourage you to make the choice to forgive today.  Forgiving someone is not something you are ever going to want to do, but it is always something you can choose to do. You can make the choice to wipe the slate clean for that person, to erase all of your bitter memories and fantasies of revenge and give that person a fresh start in your heart and mind.  When I'm making that choice, I like to write out a prayer of forgiveness, and then I pray it every day until it no longer chokes me to say the words.  I pray it until I feel it.   I pray it until I can say with complete confidence that I have forgiven that person.  And when that day comes, I usually look around and find I have a new person to forgive, and I start all over again.