How Instagram Made Me "Insta" Jealous

I'm not the jealous type.  I don't sit around wishing I was someone else. I'm very happy being me.  I don't mean that to sound arrogant, I'm just one of those people who is comfortable in her own skin.  So imagine my surprise when I found myself becoming an envious person. And it all started with Instagram.  I would say I'm a typical Instagram user. I follow mostly friends and family, ministry leaders I know and admire (which is my business), businesses and products I'm a fan of (hello NorthPark and Nordstrom), and a few celebrities (I still think I'll be able to bump Chip and Joanna Gaines up to the friend status someday).  For years, I've posted and followed the posts of others and enjoyed sharing what I'm doing as I see what others do. However, this past fall I found myself having a new unwelcome reaction to many posts.  I would see a post of a friend on date night at a fancy restaurant and instead of thinking, "Great for them." My first thought was, "It must be nice to be able to afford to go out every week."  My reaction to another post of a friend on a weekend getaway should have been, "Oh, what a lovely spot for them to get some much needed alone time." However, I was thinking more along the lines of, "I can't believe they are going on another vacation this year!" Day after day over a period of just a couple of weeks, I found myself having more of these bitter, sarcastic responses and then it hit me that I was overcome with envy.  I'd never been like this before, and I couldn't figure out why it was happening to me now, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I shot out a "see you when I see you" post and deleted Instagram from my phone.  I wasn't sure if this was a break or a break up (shout out to the Friends' fans who know the difference),  I just knew I had to put the iPhone down and step away from the crazy!

Over the next few days I began to pray for God to reveal to me what was going on in my heart and it took no time at all for Him to respond.  I was spending WAY too much time looking at Instagram and in doing so, I was more focused on what others have than I was focused on what I had in my own life.  My eyes were so trained on the little screen in my hand, that I was blocking my view of the beautiful experiences in my own life and world.  Yes, it is a great way to keep up with friends and family and folks, but for me it was turning into the social media equivalent of a Netflix binge night.  I was spending more cumulative minutes per day checking my phone than I was living my life.  It was no wonder that I felt like everyone around me was having experiences that I was missing out on, because I was missing out of experiencing much of anything while sitting and looking at my phone.  Over the next few weeks, I discovered that without the distraction of constantly checking my Instagram feed, I had more fun with my children, was more engaged with my husband, and more attentive to my friends.  I spent more time reading my Bible, listening to encouraging messages, and engaging with devotionals and books.  I was a better listener, better mother, better prayer, better wife, better student and better friend.  And you know what else, I was back to seeing how awesome my life is.  I'm blessed in so many incredible ways, and when I wasn't just looking at everyone else's blessings all the time, I could actually focus on my own and be grateful for them. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate with others and hear about the good things happening in their lives, but if you focus too much on other people's lives, even with the best of intentions, you will begin to miss the great things happening in your own life.  And let's be real, what people post on social media is a tiny fraction of what is actually happening in their every day world.  Yes, that vacation may look great, but what you may not know is that they are taking that trip as a last ditch effort to save their marriage.  Sure, she's on fabulous looking date with a handsome guy, but what you don't know is that her date ended early because he turned out to be a jerk.  Yes, her kids look just adorable in their fabulous trip to Disney World, but about an hour later those same sweet faces were throwing a tantrum at the exit gate of the Magic Kingdom.

Proverbs 14:30 says, A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. This verse is so incredibly powerful not just because it makes it clear to us that envy will tear us down at our core, but because it also points out that the antidote to envy is to embrace what we have.  A heart at peace is the definition of true contentment.  In my life, the only way I know how to land in a place of contentment is by focusing on all the good of my life.  In these weeks of my "Insta-fast" I was reminded of what an incredibly good, solid marriage I have.  My husband and I enjoy each other's company; we laugh and joke and love each other in a sincere and sweet way.  I pulled out a journal from my single years when I was longing for that very companionship that I now possess and found myself all the more grateful for what I have, right now, with this man that God sent as a blessing to me.  My children, at two and a half and ten months are full of giggles and discoveries.  The sweet kisses and funny phrases, and belly laughs are my "oil of joy instead of mourning" that was promised in Isaiah 61:3, when I was weeping over my first miscarriage this time four years ago. Frankly, I have many things in my life that others could envy.  I don't want them to, because I don't want anyone to experience the joy killer that is envy, but it is good to remember that we all have something that others are praying for, however great or small. 

I'm back on Instagram, but in a very measured manner.  I don't get alerts so I'm not constantly hearing a ding to make me want to look.  I don't post on it daily anymore, and I don't let myself look unless I'm posting something or specifically looking for something. There is no Bible verse that tells us specifically how to use social media, but there are verses that give great principles I can apply to how I'm using it from here on out:

The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.  Proverbs 14:15

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

These three verses are now directing my social media interactions.  I'm giving careful thought to who I follow and how often I look at any social media so that I can be prudent about how it impacts me.  I'm no longer following any account that doesn't lead to positive thoughts. That meant giving up some products and people that weren't inherently bad, but that I was following more to focus on stuff I want than to just celebrate something. I'm also giving careful thought to what I post.  I want to be sure that my posts reflect the work God is doing in my heart.  They may not all be deep and spiritual, but they can all be encouraging and joyful. I'm examining my motives before I post to be sure I'm not in some imaginary competition to out do anyone.  

This is a very current lesson in my life. I share it because I think there may be others out there who have experienced the "Insta" envy I encountered.  Be encouraged, that you are not alone in your misstep and that God has, as He always does, prepared a way for you to get back on track!