Mother’s Day Pain

I see you.

Those of you who long to be mothers, are mothers, or were mothers with empty wombs and empty arms.

I see you.

Those of you who thought you would one day marry and have children, but are still single.
Those of you who thought you’d be pregnant by now,  but the tests keep coming up negative.
Those of you who have been pregnant for weeks or months, but never made it full term.
Those of you who bonded with the child in your womb, but when labor was over your baby had no breath.
Those of you who held a living child for hours, days, weeks, months or even years but have since buried your precious baby.
Those of you who made the amazing sacrifice of giving your baby to someone else to raise.
Those of you who chose or were forced to terminate and live with the deepest regret.

I see you all.
I’m thinking of you on this day that is joyful for many but acutely painful for you. I see you, but more importantly, He sees you.

The God of creation who loves you with an everlasting love has arms open waiting to hold you.  He knows the loss of a child. He knows grief. He knows pain. He is with you. I’m praying for you today. I’m praying that you will feel His comfort even as you shed your tears. Take your hurt to Him. He can and will hold it for you!

In Silence, Stillness & Grief

I think about this day a lot. This day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.  This day that little to nothing is written about. This Sabbath day of silence and stillness and grief. 

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I imagine the grief of the women on this day. The woman who knew he was coming first, carried the Savior in her womb, and raised him from infancy. The women who followed Jesus throughout His ministry, were acknowledged and not overlooked by him, and were taught by and believed in Him.   The women who stood on that hill and watched him die.  The women who cleaned his body as best they could  and walked him to his tomb. The women who went home and quickly prepared spices for his body before the mandatory rest of Sabbath began. 

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I imagine them waking up to silence and stillness and grief. The Sabbath meant no work for them or anyone else, so there were no noises of land being farmed, meals being cooked, homes being cleaned or people going to market.  Even movement was kept to a minimum, doing only what is necessary so that no one appeared to be working. In that silence, in that stillness, how loud and big must their grief have been.

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If you have ever grieved you know how activity serves to distract you, give you momentary escape from your heartache.  They had no such distractions. Just the silence and stillness and grief to remind them painfully of his absence. 

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Scripture says, “But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.” Luke‬ ‭23:56‬ ‭

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In that time of darkness, loss, heartache and pain, on that day of silence and stillness and grief these women were obedient. They hurt, but they obeyed God. They grieved, but they obeyed God.  They felt hopeless, but they obeyed God.  They felt lost, but they obeyed God. They didn’t know what was coming next, but they obeyed God.

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What we do in the silence and stillness and grief matters. It may not be seen by many or any but God, but it matters. It may not be written about or talked about much later, but it matters. In the silence and stillness and grief, when we are most aware of our own frailness and powerlessness, we must continue to obey God.  God is in the silence, whispering to our hearts.  God is in the stillness, moving and working to do His will. God is in the grief, drawing us closer to Him. Don’t ignore this day. Don’t overlook it. We will all have days like this Sabbath in our lives. We will all have to walk through the silence and stillness and grief to get to the Hope. 

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Have You Heard About...

I don't know about you, but I love a good recommendation. I love to hear about a great new book, movie, restaurant, deal or product that I didn't know about before. I also like to share a good thing when I stumble upon one. So here are a few of my current book recommendations for grown-ups and kids! 

1. "TOGETHER" by Kara-Kae James:  My friend Kara-kae James has a new book out designed for Moms and their kids called "Together". It's a journal you work through together to help you talk about things from the big stuff to the everyday stuff.  I just got my copy and can't wait to start using it with my daughter.  It is recommended for kids ages 8-12 and their moms.  If you don't know Kara-kae, you need to!  She's the founder and director of Thrive Moms and is an incredible voice of encouragement and realness for moms out there.  Her book "Mom Up" had me talking back to her out loud in random places.  So good! 
2. BOB Books by Bobby Lynn Maslen: I'm on round two of the BOB book experience.  I used these when my oldest was starting to read and now I'm using them with my preschooler.  They are great books to get them started.  The first ones are short with simple sounds, which is perfect to build up their confidence in their ability to read! 
3. Little Leaders: Bold Women in Black History by Vashti Harrison: I love this precious book with one page bios and sweet illustrations about amazing women. We read one at a time with the kids and have a mini history lesson built into our story time.  Great for every month of the year (not just Black History month). She has several books in the series. We also have "Little Legends" which is all about the men of Black History.  I think everyone should have these books on their shelf because Black history is American history!
4. Questioning Evangelism by Randy Newman and Lee Strobel: This is what I'm reading right now, and I'm energized by it.  Newman and Strobel really encourage us to approach evangelism as our Savior did, by asking more questions rather than giving pat answers. I think it makes it much less intimidating. Instead of worrying that I won't have the answers, I can think more about asking them good questions.  A great read for all who want to do a better job of loving their neighbors and sharing the gospel.  So, basically everyone. 

Whatcha reading?

It may come as no surprise to learn that a woman who majored in English Lit loves to read. I read every day pretty much, even if just for a few minutes. My interest is pretty varied although I prefer fiction for the most part to entertain my brain and shut down all that pesky thinking  before bed. I read a lot of hooks but rarely feel compelled to recommend any, however from time to time a book is worthy of a shout out.  I decided to do just that from now on when I pick up a good one. Last month I finished one such book. In fact it was so good, I handed it to my best friend as soon as I was done so she could read it too, but only as a loan because I want it back. The book is Kara-Kae James’s Mom Up.

Here are my three reasons you should read it:

1. I found it incredibly encouraging as a Mom. It didn’t make me feel like a failure, but still pushed me to stretch beyond where I am right now. 

2. It was an easy and convenient read.  The chapters are labeled with approximate reading times so I knew if I could start one in that moment or if I should wait until I had more time. (I hate stopping in the middle of a chapter.)

3. This is the big one: Kara-kae keeps it REAL!  She’s honest about her fears and failures, making herself vulnerable to us all so we can relate and learn right alongside her. 

If you’re a mom looking for a good read this summer, I highly recommend this book. You can also follow Kara-Kae on Instagram and then you’ll think you’re her friend just like I do! 😜

Watch Your Tone!

“Watch your tone!”  How many times did I hear these words from my mom growing up? I can’t tell you, but if I had dollar for every time, I’d be out shoe shopping right now. At Nordstrom. In the designer section. I’m just sayin’!

Now, I’m the mom, and while I have had to check my kids’ tone a few times already, I recently realized I am still on the receiving end of that phrase. I can still lose control of my tone in moments of frustration with my kids or spouse or that lunatic driving a Toyota on the highway.  Keeping my tone in check is a skill I have yet to master.

I’m particularly focused right now on how I talk to my children. Real talk, it’s all the more challenging in the summer months. This is 24/7 mama and kid time, which means nerves can get frayed, tempers can get short, and patience can run thin. While that is all true, it is not an excuse to let my tongue or tone run amuck.  How can I teach them to do something, I can’t do? How can I expect them to speak one way, but model the opposite? The truth is, I can’t. 

Last year, I studied the book of Mark 📖again and one of things that stood out to me was how calmly and respectfully Jesus responded to confrontation. He never lost his cool or clapped back, and he had every right to. 

It is my hope and prayer this month to follow in the footsteps of my Savior and keep control of my own tone as I discipline and respond to my children. Even after 4pm when they turn into other people’s kids!

“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”

‭‭James‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Mom with Confidence

Is it just me, or do any other moms out there feel like all of the choices and recommendations and guides make our lives harder rather than easier sometimes? I mean it started for me before my firstborn was out of the womb! I remember standing in Buy Buy Baby looking at the pacifier options and saying out loud, "Are you kidding me?"! There were so many different brands and styles and within each brand there were too many options of color and patterns.  They all had packaging that claimed why their choice was the best.  There were different "sizes" based on the age of the baby, and some had a dentist recommendation.  I really just wanted to pick one that came in yellow to match my nursery choice at the time.  It's a pacifier for crying out loud! 

Another time the choice bus ran me over was when I was looking for a Mother's Day Out program.  I thought I could just call a few churches nearby and see what the cost was and the hours. I had no idea there would be tours, applications, every possible combination of days and hours of availability.  People were talking to me about parents camping out or lining up before dawn to get the open spots and not end up on the waitlist.  Camping out? These aren't concert tickets!  Waitlist? This isn't the Ivy League.  We are talking about Mother's Day Out. I just wanted my 3 year old to have a place to color, play, sing songs and make friends.  Suddenly I was making pro/con lists and comparison charts and losing sleep.

The problem with all of these choices and recommendations and guides is every little decision gets elevated to DEFCON 1 status.  As moms, we are often making what should be minor decisions, but we can get psyched out and start to believe that choosing the wrong lovey will cripple our child's ability to be a good spouse in the future.  Y'all, we have got to stop allowing these things to mess with our heads, and I do mean we because I have to stop freaking out right along with you!

It starts with us remembering what is really important. As mothers and Christ-followers, our number one job when it comes to our children is to lead them to a relationship with Jesus Christ.  That's the main thing. We want to expose our children to God's goodness, love and truth.  The future that matters most is their eternal future.  As you are making day to day or even moment to moment decisions, discern what only matters in the moment and what will matter for eternity.  The momentary things don't need as much of your energy, attention, or time in thought.  

Once you get your perspective right, remember that you are the person God chose to be mama to your  children.  However you got your kids--birth, adoption, surrogacy or stork--they are yours! God chose you to receive them.  Our children belong to Him first, so the very fact that the Creator of the universe has trusted us with these children, should give us confidence.  We can be confident that God will also give us the wisdom and discernment to make good choices for our kids.  Will we make mistakes sometimes? YES! However, we will also recover from those mistakes with His help and, ladies, we get a lot more right than we tend to give ourselves credit for on a daily basis.

As Mother's Day approaches, I want to encourage you (and me) to live with the confidence that comes from knowing Christ and having His loving guidance in your life.  You have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you, purifying your heart, offering counsel and comfort, and even praying for you.  He is advocating for you as a mama too!  When you are next hit with one of those DEFCON moments of motherhood, stop and pray.  Ask Him to give you peace and calm.  Read God's word and be reminded of what matters most, so you can approach your situation with the mind of Christ.  Be confident that the same God who made you a mom, is providing you with all of the resources and wisdom you need to raise your children in a way that pleases Him.  Motherhood was meant to bless us and grow us, not trip us up and take us down. I'm just sayin'!



In an effort to help all of us live more confidently, I created Confidence in Christ cards, a collection of a dozen cards each with a Bible verse and words of encouragement.  You can carry them with you in your purse, keep them on your desk at work, put them on the wall above the changing table, in your kitchen window above the sink while you do dishes, or anywhere you'll see them regularly.  Use them to help you memorize scripture and plant God's word in your heart so that it can strengthen you and build your confidence day by day.  Get a pack for yourself or for a friend who you know could use the encouragement!  

Good Grief

Grief is a reality of life. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a relationship ending, the death of a dream, or the end of a season of life, we are faced with grief over and over again. The sadness can be overwhelming; the weight of grief can feel suffocating.  Grief can come and go in waves, so that just when you feel you've come out of it, some small thing can trigger your grief and send you right back into the fog of it again.  I have experienced grief in many different ways through various seasons of my life and the one constant I can attest to is the fact that grief can't be put into a box. Yes there are stages of grief, but they are not necessarily linear. You can bounce back and forth from one stage to another.  I have often wondered if the hard to pin down, seemingly chaotic nature of grief is the result of the "chaos" that our world was thrown into when sin entered the world, and the perfect creation that God spoke into existence became twisted and damaged by sin and death. Whatever the reason behind the roller coaster ride that is grief, I have learned some things from my grief experiences about how God will carry you through it, and how you can navigate through it if not with ease, then hopefully with a little more grace for yourself.   

1. Let yourself grieve, no matter how recent or distant the loss.  

The most ridiculous thing I think we do to ourselves in grief, is set some arbitrary limit on how long or how much we "should" grieve.  Loss hurts!  If your marriage just ended, your sister just died, or you were just fired from your dream job, you experienced a loss, and you are going to feel the pain and sorrow that comes with that loss. Don't measure your loss against another's loss.  Your miscarriage is not less sorrowful than her spouse dying. All loss is loss and your hurt, hurts you. God himself assured us in His word, that there is a time to grieve. 

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens: ...A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."  Ecclesiates 3:1,4 (NIV)

When sorrow hits you, don't try to block it out or "suck it up". Instead go ahead and allow yourself to feel the sadness and loss.  My grandmother died over 20 years ago and I still have random moments when the sadness hits me all over again, and I cry.  I miss her. That's absolutely okay. You miss the ones you love when they are gone and there is nothing wrong or shameful about that. 

2. Take your sorrow to God.

There is no one more qualified to comfort you in your grief than God.  He knows you are hurting and He is waiting for you to bring your pain to Him, as He wants you to bring everything to Him because He is your Lord. He understands grief because He has grieved Himself.  Your grief is not a lack of faith nor is it a contradiction to the joy and peace that comes with knowing the Savior.  Just this fall, we experienced our fifth miscarriage.  I can tell you that it is absolutely possible to be heartbroken and thankful all at the same time.  My sweet little family of four spent Thanksgiving day together in sweatpants as I waited for the child in my womb to pass from my body, having learned just days before that the heart had stopped beating.  As I cooked our holiday meal I listened to my husband and my two living children giggle as they  made gingerbread ornaments and my heart swelled with joy even as my eyes filled with tears of sorrow.  Our grief is not an affront to God's faithfulness, but a reminder that we live in a fallen world that can bring us moments of happiness, but will never be the fulfillment of the hope we cling to.  The perfect life will only come with the Savior's return.

I spoke and prayed my grief to the Lord even as I thanked Him for all that I do have.  I cried out to Him and allowed the Comforter to do what only He can.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."  
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NIV)

3. Know that your grief has purpose.

I'm not saying it makes it better instantly, but there is something precious about knowing that as I grieve, God will use my loss for His purpose. Just as the verse above stated, we are comforted in our grief so that we can comfort others.  I have been the one passing on comfort, and I have been on the receiving end of someone else's comfort, and I can tell you that both bring me a little more peace.  When I opened my mailbox this fall and received a card and a charm acknowledging the life I had miscarried this fall from a friend who was walking through her own miscarriage at the same time, I marveled at the goodness of God.  She'd heard from a mutual friend of my loss, and when she could have rightly been curled up in her own grief, instead she extended love and comfort to me.  She reached out and loved on me, which reminded me to look outside myself and my grief and see who around me was hurting.   There is an amazing thing that happens when we let our grief remind us of others hurting around us.  We begin to look more like the kingdom of God!


The greatest news I have for us all is that there will be no grief in eternity with God, but in the meantime, it is my prayer that we will all find comfort, purpose, and increased compassion for others in the midst of the grief we will all experience in the here and now. My prayer is that we can all find the little bits of good in our grief.  

He Delights in You!

One of the things I know I can say to someone and have a good chance of being on the receiving end of a crazy face, is to tell them that the God of the universe delights in them. Yep. I say those words and as often as not, I can see the eyes in front of me glaze over as the person begins to wonder what other signs of insanity I may have been showing recently.  

The fact of the matter is, many of us have a hard time believing that the all-powerful God finds anything delightful about us. We look in the mirror daily and list out our faults and flaws. Some of us make a full time job of displaying an image that will cover the truth of who we really are, because we find something lacking in ourselves.  

When I had no belief in God as an active, loving creator, when I just saw Him as a distant "man upstairs", I certainly couldn't imagine him having any real interest in me, never mind  taking personal delight in me, so you can imagine my surprise when I began to understand that the almighty God loved me, knew me by name, knows the number of hairs on my head (and with my hair, that number changes daily), and cared about me even at my absolute worst, so very much that He sent His own precious and perfect son to die for me.  

Even when I accepted God's love, and believed that Jesus Christ had died for my sins, I still hadn't really taken hold of the idea that God delighted in me.  At least I did not until a beautiful woman of God who was walking me and a handful of ladies through a study to help us heal and recover from the heartache of our past abortions, shared these words with me, words from God's own word:

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing."  Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

Suddenly, I didn't just have the word delight baffling me, but I had an image that I could truly relate to and understand.  He [GOD] "will rejoice over you with singing".  Y'all, we are talking about the kind of delight and love that causes you to burst into song.  As a lifetime lover of musicals, I suddenly got it.  This is the show stopping song that comes in a musical when something amazing happens!  This is Gene Kelly splashing in puddles belting out "Singing in the Rain".  This is Annie tapping with the household staff to "I Think I'm Gonna Like it Here".  This is Eliza spotting Alexander across the room and declaring she's "Helpless"!  This is the kind of joy and delight that leads to an expression through song because words are not enough, and this is the God of the Universe singing over you and me!  

And here is the best part.  You don't have to understand why He loves you.  You don't have to think you deserve His delight. You don't even have to do a single thing to earn it.  In fact, you can't earn it.  You and I are on the receiving end of the gracious and merciful love and delight of God the Father. All you have to do is open up your heart to the Savior, trust in Him and receive it.  Once you receive it, feel free to hum along to His song and dance a little too.  I know I will. I'm just sayin'!

Just a Little More Grace

Last week, my husband came home just as I was putting each of my two children in the corner.  Yes, we're old school and use "the corner". Time out is what happens when the quarterback can't get the ball hiked in time or when the team down by two points manages to steal the ball at half court with 2.8 seconds left on the clock.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry about it and keep sending your kids to time out.)  But, I digress.  My husband literally opened the door from the garage as I was telling the 3 year-old to stand in the corner and putting the 1 year-old in the corner (he does not yet go willingly).  

What had they done, you ask?  Does it really matter? NO!  I can assure you, they're actions warranted the previously prescribed discipline.  In fact this was one in a series of insane toddler acts that had occurred that particular day.  There seems to be some sort of schedule that only children know about that dictates one day a quarter when they will do every wrong thing they can possibly do to disobey and wreak general havoc in a concerted effort to break their mother (I'm not saying it doesn't happen to fathers. I just haven't witnessed it yet).  This had been one of those days.  If there were frequent flyer miles for going to the corner, they would have earned a trip to Disney World that day.  All treats of the cookie & chocolate milk variety had been lost.  Episodes of Daniel Tiger had been erased.  I was just about ready to start throwing beloved toys out the window, when my hero came home from work and saved me.  

As the kids stood/sat/squirmed/wiggled/whined in the corner, I whispered the horrific play-by-play of my day to my husband.  Being the incredible man that he is, he took it all in and then said, "why don't you go to our room and take a few minutes."  I did. I stumbled blindly past the two-who-shall-not-be-named and fell onto my bed with my eyes closed. I didn't sleep. I just tried to breath and began to create in my mind the mom-of-toddlers version of a Psalm complete with "how long, oh Lord" and "remember me".  

It was in that precious 25 minutes of silence and alone time that God revealed to me, "This is why I call you all my children."  Yep. Right there in my moment of much needed recovery from parenting, God decided to point out to me that I was experiencing just a fraction of what He has been dealing with SINCE HE MADE MAN!  How on earth has He not destroyed us all already? Oh yeah. He's God. He's not on earth.  He's perfectly patient and loves us enough to extend grace through His son, Jesus Christ. 

"Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  

But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ 

even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." 

Ephesians 2:3b-5 (NIV)

It was with this thought in mind, that I was able to roll limply off the bed and venture back into the fray with my children, and when I did, I was looking at them with different eyes.  God had imparted upon me in those few minutes, just a little more grace to extend to my children.  That grace pushed the frustration and irritations of that day to the back and brought my immense love and adoration for my babies to the forefront.  Before they went to bed that night, I found myself curled up with both of them in my bed reading books and giggling as we snuggled together.  Don't get me wrong; right after that I was happy to put them to bed in their room and firmly close the door for the night, but instead of feeling exhausted and annoyed, I was grateful for the gift of my kids...and exhausted.  

I know a lot of moms will read this and relate to what I'm saying, and I hope it encourages you to find a way to extend just a little more grace even on the worst days with your kids whether they are toddlers or teenagers. However, I think this applies to more than motherhood.  With every blessing from God, there are challenges.  If you get the job you've been praying for there will likely be a co-worker or client that needs just a little more grace.  When you get the promotion you've been waiting for, there will be an employee or boss that requires you to extend just a little more grace.   When you finally get that husband you've been waiting for, however great and godly you may both be, I can guarantee you will need to find just a little more grace to extend to him at times.  

In an imperfect world filled with imperfect people, ourselves included, we will always need to both receive and extend just a little more grace.  We'll need to be reminded that we have to love on people even when they aren't lovable.  We'll have to be forgiving of those that aren't at all apologetic.  We'll have to offer compassion even when we are met with indifference.  We have to do these things because we are children of the Most High God. We are His ambassadors on this earth.  We represent Christ, so we must represent His grace, even when it is the last thing we want to do.  

"Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us. 

For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people."  

1 Peter 2:12, 15

This is not easy.  I repeat.  THIS IS NOT EASY!  I mean, I love my husband and children more than any other people on this planet, and I have to pray for the Holy Spirit to help me extend just a little more grace in my own home.  Passing on that grace to the obnoxious stranger cutting me off in traffic or anonymous hater on social media can only happen when I'm submitted to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to control my responses. 

My best wisdom on how to do this is to pray daily, read and memorize Scripture, and plan how you need to respond rather than allowing yourself to react.  That means you have to give thought to how you will deal with difficult people in your life ahead of time. You can't wait until the moment, because you will react--that means you will lead with emotion and that is always dangerous. Plan ahead, so you can lead with Truth.  You know what your kids do, so plan how you want to respond the next time they do it.  You know how that co-worker is going to behave in the meeting tomorrow; take some time tonight to pray and plan your response.  If you have a plan and they act a fool, you're ready to respond well.  Hopefully, you won't have to put your response into play everyday, but you should be ready every day to represent God well.  After all, He extends just a little more grace to you every day. I'm just sayin'. 

Your Father Has Big Shoulders

I want to take just a moment to talk to my faithful, believing, single sisters out there.  Let's be real for just a moment.  I know you love Jesus.  I know you trust God and want His perfect will for your life. I know you are submitted to the Holy Spirit in your daily life. I see you serving in the church, faithfully attending worship and Bible study.  I see you going on trips with the youth, rocking babies in the nursery, and serving coffee on Sunday morning.  I can almost read your journal where you write out the desires of your heart to God, praying and trusting that He will answer them.  I see you squealing for that girl who just got engaged in genuine excitement for her.  I hear you cheering her on in your role as bridesmaid yet again as she gets buried in the chaos of wedding planning.  And I see you sitting at home alone at night, and I know.

I know that you are tired of waiting. I know that you feel forgotten. I know that you are angry, frustrated, hurt, lonely, sick and tired of everyone around you finding their someone while you are still left waiting. I know because I was you for a long time.  I was, and I have the journals to prove it, journals in which I lamented and raged in almost illegible scrawl to my God. 

WHERE IS HE!?!  

SHE'S A BRAND NEW CHRISTIAN AND A MONTH LATER SHE GETS THE GUY THAT I'VE BEEN SERVING FAITHFULLY WITH FOR THE LAST YEAR!?!  

SERIOUSLY, JESUS!? SHE'S 22!!!  REALLY?!?!?!?! 

I'M LIVING THE WAY YOU'VE INSTRUCTED ME TO LIVE. 

I'M DOING WHAT YOU'VE CALLED ME TO DO.  

WHERE. IS. MY. HUSBAND?!

I get it, and today I just want to tell you, it's okay to feel what you are feeling.  Your heavenly Father has really big shoulders.  It's okay to pray it all to Him.  He can handle the tears, the wailing, the snot, the despair, because He is your Father, He loves you, and He has really big shoulders.   In fact, He is the one to whom you should take all of those feelings and thoughts, fears and doubts.  He is the only one who can truly handle them all.  

I remember thinking at one point that I wasn't supposed to voice my feelings of  frustration brought on by my singleness to God.  I thought that it somehow meant I wasn't trusting Him for my husband.  In fact, I think it means the very opposite.  There is no one better to take those fears to than the sovereign Lord. Only He can offer you comfort, because only He can see the big picture of your life. Every time I took those feelings to Him, after the waterfall of tears was depleted, He would reveal to me in the next hour or day or week, some new thing that brought me comfort or hope or joy.  He did it in different ways each time, but the most important thing is that He heard my cries and offered me comfort. 

Sister, I know that you are doing your best to show the world your faith and trust in God, and I don't just believe that is admirable, I believe it is right.  As believers, we walk in hope and faith and need to reflect that to the world.  However, I don't think you're not allowed to be lonely and hurt and long for more.  I know from my own experience that God will offer you His big shoulder and let you cry on it as long as you need. You can't hide your hurt from Him anyway, and when you bring it to Him you are affirming that you know only He can meet your need; you are strengthening your faith in Him.

My point in this is to offer you a hand and encouragement from a sister who has walked the path and felt the pain of singleness. I have single friends in my life in their 20s, 30s, and 40s all currently walking the path and feeling the pain. I pray for them regularly, and I ache for them.  I will be praying for every one of you that reads these words.  My prayer is that God will give you the desire of your heart, that you will continue to wait on His perfect will for your life, and that you will take your pain to Him so He can offer you the solace that can only come from Him in the meantime. 

I also offer you these words from His Word as you wait.  Let them bring you comfort and hope. Let  them encourage you from day to day. Let them remind you that your Father has big shoulders!

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." Psalm 119:28

"I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me." Psalm 120:1

"Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely." Psalm 139:4

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." Psalm 145:18-19

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight."  Psalm 119: 35

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1