Change is Good. Right?

I have a love/hate relationship with change. On the one hand, I can get bored when things are stagnate, so I want to see things in my life change up. On the other hand, there are elements of my life that I like just as they are, so a change in those areas threatens my happy place. Whatever, my feeling may be, change happens. It keeps happening. It will always happen.

Some changes we make ourselves, while others are made for us. Some happen directly to us, while others happen near or around us. All change impacts us in some way, shape or form. As I think about the last five years of my life, the list of changes I've encountered is long: marriage, motherhood, career shift, best friend moving away, sister moving closer, canceling cable TV, signing up for Nerflix. Okay, all the changes aren't monumental, but all have impacted some aspect of my life or another. 

Navigating through change successfully is all about learning to have the right attitude in the midst of it.  I don't believe God expects us to like every change in our life, but I know He expects us to respond well to every change. When we respond to change with hopelessness, bitterness, or sin, we fail to show the world that our foundation is Jesus Christ. It is imperative to remember that our response to change will either bring God glory or fail to reflect Christ. 

I'm not saying you will never experience fear or anger or sadness in the midst of change. That is going to happen. My question is, what actions do you allow to accompany those feelings?  Do you lash out in anger? Do you curse God in grief?  Do you return to sinful behavior out of fear? You don't have to be a robot, but your actions should flow from your faith, not your feelings. 

The best way to be prepared for change is to be in close relationship to Christ. Proximity is everything. Talking to God daily by praying and reading the Bible will put you in the right position when change arrives. Too often, we let the steady times in our lives lull us into complacency and stop connecting to God, or we allow the business of our daily lives squeeze out our God time.  I've been just as guilty of this as you have, believe me, and because I have, I know how detrimental it is to my peace of mind when change arrives, to have fallen off my game.   I can attest that daily time with the Savior has prepared me for changes that I didn't even know were coming, whether it was a verse that days later took on new meaning, or a sense  during my prayer time that something was right around the corner.  I can also attest to the whiplash effect change has had in my life when I was not in daily contact with God.  I found myself scrambling and having a poor initial reaction to the change in front of me.

As believers, we all want to please the Lord.  We all want to represent Christ well.  We all want to be evidence of His grace and mercy to others.  When we face change, we can do all of these things and do them well, so long as we remember who God is, how very much He loves us, and the fact that He is in complete control.  Here are some tips on handling change: 

1. If you've been out of the Word, GET BACK IN! - Now, is definitely the time to restart your daily interaction with God. You can't hear from Him if you're not reading the words He's given you in the Bible! 
2. Focus on hope instead of despair - Have an attitude that shows you trust God has His best for you, not an attitude that looks like you're giving up.
3. Smile instead of frown- Your countenance (facial expression/body language) communicate more than you think, and I find that when I focus on smiling during change, I tend to have a more positive outlook.  I know it sounds simple, but it really does matter!
4. Talk about the good stuff instead of the bad stuff - Your words are more powerful than you know. Let others (and yourself) hear the good possibilities with the change, not just the bad. 
5. Work off your anger - The change you're facing may be upsetting, but you don't want that anger to lead you to sin, so work it off.  Run it out if that works for you, punch a pillow if that's your thing, do some angry cleaning (one of my favorites).  Find a physical, harmless way to process through that anger so you can get to the hope and positive attitude that much faster! 
6. Avoid temptation - Fear and anger can leave you vulnerable to sinful habits that fool you with temporary and false feelings of relief.  You know your weak areas - guard them carefully in this season. 

Here are some of my favorite verses to revisit when I face change:

• Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.   Matthew 6:34
• Our ancestors trusted in You, and You rescued them. You heard their cries for help and saved them.  They put their trust in You and were never disappointed.  Psalm 22:4-5
• For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long.  Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever.   2 Corinthians 4:17

What change are you facing right now?  What steps will you take to respond to it well? Feel free to share in the comments below.  I'd love to pray with you through your season of change!

Why I'm So Sad About Robin Williams...

Whether the scene that comes to mind is Mrs. Doubtfire dancing with the vacuum cleaner,  students jumping on their desk saying "O Captain, my Captain," a blue genie dancing and singing in a cave, a bearded therapist hugging a sobbing genius, or one of a thousand other scenes that made us laugh or cry or a bit of both, the fact is Robin Williams had a huge impact on the entertainment industry and the world.  His rapid fire wit and general aura of kindness made him lovable on screen and off.  If I was flipping channels and saw he was going to be interviewed on any talk show, I was definitely stopping because I knew I'd be laughing out loud in less than a minute.  His gift of portraying humor on screen and off was only matched by his ability to convey compassion, and while I only knew him from the perspective of a fan, I just believed that he was a caring and sweet man in real life. I never thought he was perfect, and I was aware that he'd struggled with substance abuse over the years, but like everyone else, I was devastated to hear the news of his suicide last night.  

This morning, as I watch the morning shows revisit his past roles and share truths from his life off screen, I'm struck by how very sad I am for the loss of a man I never knew personally.  My sadness is not just about the fact that he's gone but also about the disease that likely caused his death, depression.  It breaks my heart to know that while he was making so many of us laugh and feel good, he was struggling inside to feel any joy in his own life.  It's estimated that over 121 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression.  While I personally have only walked through situational depression after personal loss, I have supported close friends and family through diagnosed depression, and I'm very aware of the suffocating weight that comes with it.  Depression is not a made up excuse, it's not sadness, it's not a few bad days.  It is a devastating disease that needs to be treated with the help of professionals.  Unfortunately, too many people dismiss depression and underestimate the significance of it.  Too many people experience shame or a sense of failure when faced with a diagnosis of depression, forgetting that it is a disease in the same way cancer is a disease: not something you asked for, not something you could have prevented, and not something you can ignore.  Depression is not a lack of faith or spirituality either.  You can know Christ and have a strong faith and still be hit with depression.  

As I've taken this journey with my loved ones, I've watched varying reactions to their diagnoses.  Denial is a common response because depression comes with symptoms that are particularly hard for the sufferer to see.  There is not a simple blood test that can tell you yes you suffer from depression, so for many the diagnosis is that much harder to accept. A common theme is a reluctance to take medication to help alleviate the symptoms of depression.  I can't count how many times I've told a depressed loved one that there is no shame in taking medication for their depression, comparing it to medication that we take for any other disease or disorder like diabetes or allergies.  Perhaps the thing that is the most frustrating, from what I've witnessed, is the reoccurrence of the disease after a period of peace; if getting on the medication and seeking therapy the first time was hard, having to revisit these treatments after thinking the depression was gone for good is even more daunting for the sufferer.  Yet, it is imperative that those who suffer from depression are diagnosed and treated by professionals. The type and length of treatments required can vary, but like any disease, left untreated depression can be debilitating and even deadly.  

For those of us who love someone who is experiencing this disease, we have a vital role to play.  We may be the ones to help our loved one identify that something is wrong.  We need to be encouraging and supportive.  We have to recognize the seriousness of the disease, not ignore it.  We have to celebrate when our loved one seeks help, not dismiss it or even worse shame them.  We have to pray for them with the same fervor we have when we hear of someone having cancer or ALS or Parkinson's or any other disease that we know devastates and destroys life.  We must talk about depression with the same mix of respect and gravity that we give those diseases and not write it off or diminish the power with which it can wreak havoc on a life.  

Today, I'm praying for the loved ones of Robin Williams who are grieving the loss of their husband, father, brother, and friend.  Even more, I'm praying for all of the millions out there who are suffering from depression. I'm praying that they are seeking help for their illness.  I'm praying that those who love them are supporting them to the best of their ability.  I'm praying that we all do what we can to support and encourage those in our lives who suffer from this disease.  I'm going to remember Mr. Williams for the laughter and acting genius that he brought into my own life.  I'm going to let his death be my reminder to never forget the dangerous power of depression.